Coparenting After Separation in the Netherlands: One Dad's Honest Story

What actually happens after a relationship ends — when you have children together, you're living in the Netherlands, and your village is far away?

Niko, a German dad, joins us this week to talk honestly about something most men never say out loud: the grief, the guilt, the fear of what separation would do to his kids — and how he came out the other side.

They talk about growing apart after years together, the question he had to ask himself when staying felt like slowly disappearing, why he believes ending a marriage and ending a family are not the same thing, and how he and his ex built a coparenting relationship they're both proud of.

This is not a conversation about divorce being easy. It's a conversation about what's possible when two parents put their children first — and take care of themselves in the process.

For any dad who is struggling and hasn't told anyone yet: this one's for you.

RESOURCES — Nationwide Netherlands

For children:

• KIES (Kinderen In Een Scheiding Situaties) — free municipality-funded support groups for children aged 4–18. Available across the Netherlands. Self-refer or via your child's school. Find your local KIES via: kiesvoorhetkind.nl or kiesamsterdam.nl (Amsterdam-specific)
• Villa Pinedo — online support platform for children and young people with divorced parents. Available in English. Buddy app, forum, and parent resources: villapinedo.nl/english

For parents:

• Mediation in the Netherlands — if you need support building a parenting plan, a registered mediator can help. Search via the Dutch Mediation Federation: mfnregister.nl

• Your gemeente — ask your local jeugdregisseur (youth coordinator) what coparenting support is available in your area. Every municipality is different.