The Cadaver Synod Legal Disaster of 897 AD | Episode 113

I read an awful lot so you don’t have to, so to save you some time, according to a book titled “Is Eating People Wrong”, it is. Well, on today’s story, I’m happy to say you won’t have to worry about cannibalism. There will be a body. And there will be some things that will happen to that body – the kind of stuff you wouldn’t wish on your grandmother, but no nibbling. Let me just say, this will be a very different kind of episode.

On this episode: Welcome to our very first legal disastersode! We’ll see just how many people would have wanted to casually splork your freshly severed skull onto a pike during the medieval era; you will find out why Pope-Elects had the longevity of Spinal Tap drummers and what a complete bloodsport the early Papacy turned out to be; and if you thought putting a costume on a dog or cat was hard, you will find out how awkward and unwieldy it is to try and dress a half-desiccated corpse.

And if you were listening to this on Patreon: You would learn about the long list of Popes that retired without putting out an autobiography, if you follow my meaning; you would hear about animals and insects that were convicted of everything from vandalism to manslaughter and publicly executed; and you would learn all the different kinds of legal alternatives paths medieval-you could opt for if you didn’t want to shell out for a lawyer.

I don’t expect this episode to ruffle any feathers, but for those of your who adore the Pope, we are spending our time today looking at Popes that died, were murdered, murdered other Popes, got poisoned, got marooned, and otherwise met with an inglorious end. And two things. First, Pope on Pope violence was a real problem, and second, we’re always in the habit of ringing the church bell for victims of our story, as a way to honour or commemorate them. I didn’t count, but we ring the bell more times in this single episode than we probably do in a year under more fortuitous circumstances. I make the point, that coal miners had a safer job than early Popes.

It is with the most luke-warm sadness that I tell you I’m no longer on Facebook or Instagram. The new Meta AI purged my account, so if you’d like to get in touch but could care less about social media, you can always find me at doomsdaypod@gmail.com. I may be slow to respond, but I’m honestly overjoyed by your letters. I hope you enjoy the show.

P.S. Thank you to all who took part in our Kickstarter fundraiser. We achieved 165% of our funding goal and we couldn't have done it without you.

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