Mini Episode #6-Rumination

Mini Episode #6-Rumination

Eric explores rumination and how damaging it can be to our mental health.

What is it?
What's the difference between rumination and self reflection?
Hebb's Law and the role it plays in rumination.
How to escape rumination.

Rough Transcript:

A few weeks ago I was at one of the local meditation centers and people were doing walking meditation. There was a guy walking incredibly slow and everyone was backing up behind him because no one but a disabled snail can move at that pace. So people weren’t doing walking meditation they were standing and looking at this guy with a grouchy look on their faces.
So I decided to stop him and explain that no one else could enjoy the meditation experience and it would be helpful if he could go just a bit faster.
A few minutes later we sat back down for sitting meditation and my mind began racing. Should I not have said anything? Was I rude? Was this guy angry? So I decided that when we got up I would go over to him and explain myself and make sure we were good. Problem solved….except not for my mind. On and on it went re-playing the scene and thinking about the upcoming conversation.
This is commonly know as rumination or brooding.
Rumination is the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one's distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. Rumination is generally considered differently than self-reflection. Self-reflelction tends to offer new insights wheras rumination is just playing the same negative thoughts and feelings over and over.

You will never plow a field by turning it over in your mind-
Irish Proverb

The challenge with rumination (or brooding) is that it feels like we are doing something about the issue or problem by continuing to think about it and ponder it. However rumination is extremely destructive and has been strongly linked to deep depression and anxiety. In fact a The UK's biggest ever online test into stress, undertaken by the BBC's Lab UK and the University of Liverpool, has revealed that rumination is the biggest predictor of the most common mental health problems in the country.
The tricky thing is that worry and rumination can seem essential part of coping effectively. The idea of letting go of rumination and worry can be frightening. The ironic thing is that rumination tends to increase anxiety and effectiveness in problem solving goes down as anxiety increases.
In addition a mind that ruminates becomes more likely to continue to do it. We have talked on the show about how we create pathways in our brain that become every easier to fall into the more reengage them. This is not a fanciful idea or silly positive thinking. Neurosccience has something called Hebbs Law. The phrase, “neurons that fire together wire together” The meaning of Hebb’s axiom is that each experience we encounter, including our feelings, thoughts, sensations, and muscle actions becomes embedded in the network of brain cells, that produce that experience. Each time you repeat a particular thought or action, you strengthen the connection between a set of brain cells or neurons.
Think of it like taking a walk in the woods. Your thoughts are like hikers. The first hiker has to blaze her own trail. But over subsequent trips a trail gets worn in to the ground and more and more hikers will take that trail. The more hikers that take the trail the clearer it becomes and the more likely that future hikers will take it. It takes much more energy to go off the trail. Our brains work the same way, there is a need to conserve energy. Our brains use about 25% of the body’s total energy so the brain is going to default to the neural circuits that take less energy.
So it’s important to determine whether we are ruminating or problem solving. If the thinking does not lead to a course of action within a reasonable period it is probably rumination.
Back to my story above, the first few minutes while I thought about the situation and came up with a plan of action was useful self- reflection and problem solving. Everything after that was useless rumination.
in our interview with Dan Harris he talks about the difference between useless rumination and what he calls constructive anguish . The question he asks himself is “Is this useful?” If it doesn’t lead to meaningful effective action then it is useless rumination.
If we are ruminating the most important thing is to come to a hard stop. As soon as the ruminative thought begins – that one that doesn’t lead to new insights but is the same path – you immediately have to distract yourself with something that requires concentration. The key at this point is to stop the cycle. We have to stop the brain cold, we need to stay off the path. So anything that distracts us and requires concentration will work. Play a game, solve a puzzle, anything is better than the rumination.
So a quick summary, brooding is the process of playing negative thoughts and emotions over and over. It is also extremely destructive. It is a key indicator of depression, anxiety, high blood pressure and heat disease. We need to interrupt the brooding as soon as it begins. The best way to do this is to immediately switch the brain to something that requires concentration.
Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:
Kino MacGregor
Strand of Oaks
Mike Scott of the Waterboys
Todd Henry- author of Die Empty
Randy Scott Hyde

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Why Ethics and Joy Belong Together with Peter Singer

Why Ethics and Joy Belong Together with Peter Singer

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8 Aug 45min

The Path to Inexplicable Joy: How Self-Friendship Can Change Everything with Susan Piver

The Path to Inexplicable Joy: How Self-Friendship Can Change Everything with Susan Piver

In this episode, Susan Piver discusses the path to inexplicable joy and how self-friendship can change everything. She shares this powerful statement, “I can’t defeat my enemies, but I can strengthen my friends,” which offers a different kind of hope that shifts our focus from fighting battles we can’t win, to caring for the people and communities closest to us. Susan shares what real power looks like, not dominance, but care, and also shares five practical ways to cultivate personal power in everyday life. This is an episode about moving from overwhelm to meaningful action. One friendship, one moment of care at a time.Feeling overwhelmed, even by the good things in your life?Check out Overwhelm is Optional — a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. Sign up here for only $29!Key Takeaways:Personal empowerment and its significance in daily life.The practice of mindfulness and its role in self-awareness.Exploration of Buddhist teachings, particularly the Heart Sutra.The concept of interconnectedness and its implications for personal and communal well-being.The parable of the two wolves and its relevance to nurturing positive qualities.The importance of self-care and creating a supportive physical environment.Practical steps for cultivating personal power and confidence.The relationship between meditation and self-acceptance.The distinction between relative and absolute views in understanding existence.The role of compassion in personal growth and community connection.If you enjoyed this conversation with Susan Piver, check out these other episodes:How to Discover Your Way of Being Through the Enneagram with Susan PiverThe Four Noble Truths of Love with Susan Piver (2021)Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Life: Finding Ease and Clarity with Charlie GilkeyFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Aug 1h

Finding Meaning Through Caregiving, Loss, and Writing with Nickolas Butler

Finding Meaning Through Caregiving, Loss, and Writing with Nickolas Butler

In this episode, Nickolas Butler explores finding meaning through caregiving, loss, and writing. At just 20 years old, Nick became his father’s legal guardian after a sudden brain aneurysm — a role he held for 23 years. What began as a family emergency became a long, complex journey that shaped his identity, his values, and his voice as a novelist. In this honest and moving conversation, Nick shares the emotional toll and unexpected wisdom that caregiving can bring, the power of presence, and how life’s hardest roles can also become its most transformative. Nick also discusses his latest novel, A 40 Year Kiss — a tender, hopeful story of second chances, aging, and old love — and how paying attention to real people’s stories fuels his fiction. If you’re navigating caregiving, grieving a loved one, or wondering how to stay open to creativity during hard seasons, this episode offers comfort, insight, and quiet strength.Feeling overwhelmed, even by the good things in your life?Check out Overwhelm is Optional — a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. Sign up here for only $29!Key Takeaways:Caregiving and the emotional complexities involved in becoming a legal guardian at a young age.The impact of caregiving on personal identity and life experiences over a long duration.The evolution of storytelling and the importance of listening to others’ stories in writing.The contrast between Butler’s darker previous works and his latest novel, which focuses on themes of love, family, and redemption.The exploration of “old love” and the realities of long-term relationships versus contemporary portrayals of romance.The challenges and nuances of aging, wisdom, and the search for guidance in later life.The personal relationship between the writer and their craft, including the writing process and routines.The complexities of addiction and recovery, particularly in relation to alcohol use.The significance of community and shared experiences, as illustrated through sports and personal anecdotes.The importance of embracing ambiguity and the nuanced nature of human relationships in both life and art.If you enjoyed this conversation with Nickolas Butler, check out these other episodes:How to Embrace the Important Elements of Life with Nickolas ButlerA Journey to Self-Discovery and Sobriety with Matthew QuickFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Aug 1h 5min

How to Quiet the Inner Critic and Finally Get Unstuck with Michelle Chalfant

How to Quiet the Inner Critic and Finally Get Unstuck with Michelle Chalfant

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29 Juli 59min

From Divorce to Discovery: Nature’s Wisdom for Life’s Transitions with Lyanda Haupt

From Divorce to Discovery: Nature’s Wisdom for Life’s Transitions with Lyanda Haupt

In this episode, Lyanda Haupt shares her journey from divorce to discovery and nature's wisdom for life's transitions. She challenges everything you might think you know about hope, about walking barefoot on the earth, and what it actually means to feed the good wolf.Discover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.Key Takeaways:Psychological concepts related to change, addiction, hope, disappointment, and self-efficacy.The complexities of addiction and the distinction between harmful behaviors and positive attachments.The challenges of personal change and the forces that resist it, including fear of disappointment and existential anxiety.The concept of "fear of hope" and its impact on motivation and willingness to change.The importance of social support and community in the recovery process.Critique of current addiction treatment models and the need for a more compassionate, harm reduction approach.The role of context in shaping an individual's ability to change and the limitations of individualistic approaches.The significance of incremental change and the value of small steps in personal growth.The importance of respecting resistance to change as a form of self-love and preservation.If you enjoyed this conversation with Lyanda Haupt, check out these other episodes:How to Find Joy, Wisdom, and Wonder in Nature with Mark ColemanHow to Find Healing in Nature with Ralph De La RosaFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Juli 1h 5min

Why We Resist Change (and What to Do About It) with Ross Ellenhorn

Why We Resist Change (and What to Do About It) with Ross Ellenhorn

In this episode, Ross Ellenhorn explores the complexities of why we resist change and what to do about it. As Ross explains in this conversation, “staying the same protects you from the insult of small steps.” He shows us why these tiny steps can sometimes feel insulting and demoralizing. Ross also delves into the fear of raising expectations, the pain of disappointment, and why hope itself can feel threateningDiscover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.Key Takeaways:Psychological concepts related to change, addiction, hope, disappointment, and self-efficacy.The complexities of addiction and the distinction between harmful behaviors and positive attachments.The challenges of personal change and the forces that resist it, including fear of disappointment and existential anxiety.The concept of “fear of hope” and its impact on motivation and willingness to change.The importance of social support and community in the recovery process.Critique of current addiction treatment models and the need for a more compassionate, harm reduction approach.The role of context in shaping an individual’s ability to change and the limitations of individualistic approaches.The significance of incremental change and the value of small steps in personal growth.The importance of respecting resistance to change as a form of self-love and preservation.If you enjoyed this conversation with Ross Ellenhorn, check out these other episodes:How to Integrate Behavior Change with Your Values with Spencer GreenbergTiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ FoggBehavior Change with Dr. John NorcrossFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Juli 55min

How to Create Change at Work Without Losing Yourself with Melody Wilding

How to Create Change at Work Without Losing Yourself with Melody Wilding

In this episode, Melody Wilding discusses how to create change at work without losing yourself. She challenges the idea that you’re powerless at work, even in tough cultures. If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate office politics, or if there’s a way to work with integrity even when you’re not in charge, this conversation will give you both practical tools and hope. Get Weekly Bites of Wisdom delivered to your inbox. Every Wednesday, you’ll receive a short, practical email that distills the big ideas from different episodes on topics like mental health, relationships, anxiety, and purpose – into bite-sized practices you can use right away. It’s free, takes about a minute to read. You’ll also receive a Weekend Podcast playlist every Friday to ensure you don’t miss an episode! Join now at oneyoufeed.net/newsletter.Key Takeaways:The internal and cultural struggle between hope and despair in the context of global crises.The concept of “radical hope” as a resilient form of hope amidst harsh realities.The inadequacy of typical positivity in addressing complex real-world problems.The need for a new “rational mysticism” suitable for the 21st century.The dangers of failing to establish a stable, shared sense of meaning in society.The critique of hyper-individualistic and consumer-driven culture in relation to existential risks.The historical evolution of existential risk narratives and their implications for modern society.The importance of community and connection in fostering healing and growth.The challenges of creating secular communities that provide meaningful structure and belonging.The potential for a revived Western rational mysticism to address contemporary spiritual needs and crises.If you enjoyed this conversation with Melody Wilding, check out these other episodes:How to Simplify Your Life and Find More Fulfillment in Your Work with John KaagHow to Recognize the Hidden Signs of Burnout with Leah WeissFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Juli 1h 3min

Can Radical Hope Save Us from Despair in a Fractured World? with Jamie Wheal

Can Radical Hope Save Us from Despair in a Fractured World? with Jamie Wheal

In this episode, Jamie Wheal explores the question of “Can radical hope save us from despair in a fractured world?” He argues that most of the feel-good positivity we are sold is useless when facing real crises, from climate collapse to meaninglessness. But there is a kind of hope that survives contact with brutal reality.Get Weekly Bites of Wisdom delivered to your inbox. Every Wednesday, you’ll receive a short, practical email that distills the big ideas from different episodes on topics like mental health, relationships, anxiety, and purpose – into bite-sized practices you can use right away. It’s free, takes about a minute to read. You’ll also receive a Weekend Podcast playlist every Friday to ensure you don’t miss an episode! Join now at oneyoufeed.net/newsletter.Key Takeaways:The internal and cultural struggle between hope and despair in the context of global crises.The concept of “radical hope” as a resilient form of hope amidst harsh realities.The inadequacy of typical positivity in addressing complex real-world problems.The need for a new “rational mysticism” suitable for the 21st century.The dangers of failing to establish a stable, shared sense of meaning in society.The critique of hyper-individualistic and consumer-driven culture in relation to existential risks.The historical evolution of existential risk narratives and their implications for modern society.The importance of community and connection in fostering healing and growth.The challenges of creating secular communities that provide meaningful structure and belonging.The potential for a revived Western rational mysticism to address contemporary spiritual needs and crises.If you enjoyed this conversation with Jamie Wheal, check out these other episodes:How to Overcome Cynicism and Embrace Hope with Jamil ZakiHuman Nature and Hope with Rutger BregmanFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Juli 1h 2min

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