Emiliya Zhivotovskaya
The One You Feed30 Sep 2014

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya

I was lucky enough to catch Emiliya Zhivotovskaya near the end of Camp GLP and we were able to sit down in her small room on the floor, holding microphones and have this conversation. I think we were both very tired after a great weekend at camp. She had delivered numerous workshops, emceed the Talent Show and was feeling under the weather to boot. Nonetheless it was a wonderful and warm conversation. Enjoy!!
At the age of 5, Emiliya and her family fled from Kiev, escaping the fall of Communism and the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl. She found herself in a new land, faced with challenges completely foreign to the average kid growing up in a New York suburb. Then, 9 years later, she faced yet another tragedy, the sudden loss of her brother as he ran to save his fiancé from drowning and lost his life in the process of saving hers. And years later, the loss of her mother.
From this place of deep challenge, she could have turned to the dark side. She could have given up, blamed the world and walked away from joy. From happiness. From possibility. Instead, she found awakening, strength and a renewed sense of gratitude. She discovered within herself a wellspring of resilience and a relentless desire to understand where this came from and how to bring a similar lens to others. She was determined to help others flourish.
Her exploration quickly developed into a lifelong quest, leading her to study psychology at Long Island University, then get her masters degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania under the guidance of the legendary founder of the science, professor Martin Seligman. Graduating summa cum laude, she has gone on to found the Certification in Positive Psychology program at the Open Center and head up her own endeavor, The Flourishing Center. Emiliya is also currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Mind-Body Medicine at Saybrook University, where she is also on the graduate faculty. (Curriculum Vitae)
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is widely acclaimed for her striking ability to share the transformative power of positive psychology, deliver actionable and specific strategies that yield tangible, measurable results. And share these ideas in a wonderfully engaging and entertaining way.
In This Interview Emiliya and I Discuss...

The One You Feed parable.
How both wolves are part of the human condition.
How to feed both wolves and integrate them.
Courage is not a lack of fear but having the ability to move through it.
The bad wolf is trying to protect us, it is part of our evolutionary programming.
What is positive psychology?
How both positive and negative emotions are useful.
The role of positive psychology in handling depression and anxiety.
Depression masquerading as loneliness.
Why there are not more depression support groups.
Depression as learned helplessness.
The criticality of exercise in handling depression (Want to be depressed? Don't exercise!)
The BDNF and Serotonin loop.
Taking micro-steps to build new habits.
The biological wiring of social comparison.
The role of gratitude in feeling better.
How gratitude shifts the brain into a more expansive state.
The small tweak that makes gratitude much more powerful.
How negative emotion and problem solving are not connected, they can be pulled apart.
That negative emotions make problem solving worse and narrows our ability to see options.
How positive emotions help us move into broaden and build mode.
That pain as a motivator falls prey to the law of diminishing returns.
Eustress-the role of useful stress.
The difference between useful and destructive stress.
Thinking about being happier but not taking any action is worse than not thinking about it all.
The fixed vs growth mindset.
How you can't enjoy the journey when stuck in the fixed mindset and the growth mindset creates the conditions to enjoy the journey.


Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Links
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Homepage
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Facebook
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Twitter
Certificate in Positive Psychology created by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya


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Andrew Solomon

Andrew Solomon

[powerpress] This week on The One You Feed we have Andrew Solomon.Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology.Solomon’s newest book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, published on November 13, 2012, won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction among many other awards. The New York Times hailed the book, writing, “It’s a book everyone should read… there’s no one who wouldn't be a more imaginative and understanding parent — or human being — for having done so… a wise and beautiful book.”  People described it as “a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity."Solomon’s previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times of London‘s list of one hundred best books of the decade. A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions, The Noonday Demon has also been a bestseller in seven foreign countries, and has been published in twenty-four languages.  The New York Times described it as “All-encompassing, brave, deeply humane… a book of remarkable depth, breadth and vitality… open-minded, critically informed and poetic all at the same time… fearless, and full of compassion.”In addition he recently conducted an exclusive interview with Peter Lanza, father of Adam Lanza, perpetrator of the Sandy Hook School shooting. It was published in The New Yorker and received an enermous amount of media coverage. In This Interview Andrew and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Using work to make the world a better place.The urgent business of living a moral life.How to decide what we should change and what we should accept.How hope can become the cornerstone of misery.The challenges and joys of parenting disabled children.The perfectionism of privilege.The importance of the choice to celebrate what is versus wishing it to be different.How we can grow through difficult circumstances.The poison of comparison.The idea of the "psychological supermodel".Layering feelings of failure onto depression and how damaging that is.Learning to celebrate our difficulties and differences.A beautiful and hopeful reading on depression.How critical humor is in dealing with depressionNew approaches to treating depression.His ongoing challenges with depression and anxiety.The shame of mental illness.If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes.A life that is only luxury and pleasure tends to feel rather hollow and empty.How sparing our children from all adversity is a bad idea.The choices we face.How encounters with darkness give us the energy to feed our good wolf.Andrew Solomon LinksAndrew Solomon HomepageAndrew Solomon Amazon Author PageAndrew Solomon on TwitterAndrew Solomon on FacebookSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Maj 201434min

Matthew Quick

Matthew Quick

This week on The One You Feed we have Matthew Quick.Matthew Quick (aka Q) is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; The Good Luck of Right Now; and three young adult novels: Sorta Like a Rockstar ; BOY21; and Forgive me, Leonard Peacock  His work has been translated into thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. Love May Fail will be published in 2015. All of his books have been optioned for film.In This Interview Matthew and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.The importance of the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we believe.Surrounding himself with people who help feed his good wolf.Growing up in a world where everyone told him he could never be a fiction writer.The Good Luck of Right Now.Working with the negative voices in our head.Synchronicity.Fiction writing as therapy.The line between positive thinking and delusion.Where the idea for the Silver Linings Playbook came from.Believing wildly in yourselfThe role of humor.His struggles with depression and anxiety.How hiding mental health conditions makes it worse.Polishing the bars of our prison.Matthew Quick LinksMatthew Quick HomepageMatthew Quick Amazon Author PageMatthew Quick on TwitterMatthew Quick on FacebookSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Maj 201439min

Joe Oestreich of Watershed

Joe Oestreich of Watershed

This week on The One You Feed we have Joe Oestreich.He is the author of the memoir, Hitless Wonder: A Life in Minor League Rock and Roll, which documents the twenty-five years he toured the country in a beat up Econoline as the bass player and co-singer for Columbus Ohio’s Watershed.His writing has appeared in Esquire, Sports Illustrated, Ninth Letter, Fourth Genre, and many other magazines. He's been awarded a fellowship from the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, honored by The Atlantic Monthly, and shortlisted in The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007, The Best American Essays 2008 and 2009, and The Pushcart Prize: Best of the Small Presses 2010 and 2014. He is now teach creative writing at Coastal Carolina University in Conway, SC, where he is the nonfiction editor of Waccamaw.In This Interview Joe and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Getting the work done.Making time for your art.Taking selfishness too far.Working hard.How working hard is sometimes you the only thing you can change.Not being attached to external success.The work has to be it's own reward.The frustration of not seeing the success you want.That there has never been a better time to get your work in front of people.The support from his father.Watershed's legendary manager Biggie.Optimism versus fear.Opening for the Insane Clown Posse.His upcoming book.Joe Oestreich LinksJoe Oestreich homepageWatershed homepageBuy Hitless WonderSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Apr 201435min

Frank Turner

Frank Turner

This week on The One You Feed we have Frank Turner.This is a big episode for me. When I came up with the concept of the show, Frank Turner was the first person I thought of that I wanted to have as a guest. His music is hugely important to me. He feeds my good wolf on a regular basis.Frank was a singer in a hardcore band, Million Dead. When they broke up he started out on his own with an acoustic guitar. He has released  five solo albums, two rarities compilation albums, one split album and five EPs. His fifth studio album, Tape Deck Heart was released just over a year ago.In This Interview Frank and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.The feeling that there is never enough time.The importance of friendship in feeding your good wolf.His role as a CALM Ambassador.Building a community around music.What punk rock meant to him as a kid.Staying connected to his values of openness and community as he gets more famousMusic as a refuge for those that don't fit in.Music that he turns to to feed his good wolf.Writing the press release for John K Samson's latest record.The challenges of alcohol and drugs.Getting older and the changes in identity that come with that.His love of dogs and his amazing "dog policy" at showsHis forthcoming record.Frank Turner LinksFrank Turner HomepageBuy Frank Turner music on AmazonFrank Turner on TwitterSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Apr 201424min

Mini Episode- PItfalls of Positive Thinking

Mini Episode- PItfalls of Positive Thinking

"Positive thinking can look an awful lot like old-fashioned denial"Jessica Lamb-Shapiro In this mini-episode I'm discussing my ambivalence on positive thinking. I cover:- Our Jessica Lamb-Shapiro interview- One of my Favorite quotes- The Stockdale Paradox- My former boss-Striking a balanceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Apr 20145min

Jessica Lamb Shapiro

Jessica Lamb Shapiro

This week on The One You Feed we have Jessica Lamb-Shapiro.Jessica Lamb-Shapiro is the author of the book Promise Land: My Journey through America's Self-Help Culture. Jessica Lamb-Shapiro has published fiction and nonfiction in The Believer, McSweeney's, Open City, and Index magazine, among others. She has been a fellow at the MacDowell Colony and the New York Foundation for the Arts, and is a graduate of Brown (BA) and Columbia (MFA).We loved the great writing, the honest look at self-help, and the insights that she delivers. This was a really fun conversation that left us with a lot to think about.In This Interview Jessica and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How positive thinking can become denial.The history of self-help stretching back to ancient Egypt.Using self-help terminology to avoid emotional intimacy.Challenges with the Law of Attraction.The paradox of self improvement: When should you accept yourself and when should you try to change.When is acceptance the right course and when is it settling?How cliches can become meaningless but yet still contain so much truth.Finally being able to talk about her mothers suicide.Growing up with a self-help author as a father.Jessica Lamb-Shapiro LinksJessica Lamb-Shapiro HomepageBuy Promise Land: My Journey through America's Self-Help CultureJessica on TwitterSome of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Apr 201435min

Brenden Dilley

Brenden Dilley

This week on The One You Feed we have Brenden Dilley.Brenden Dilley is the author of the book Still Breathin': The Wisdom Teachings of a Perfectly Flawed Man.We were taken by the intensity, directness and self-deprecating humor throughout the book. Brenden is not one to sugar coat things, he doesn't even dust a little Sweet'N Low on them.He was introduced to the world of “self-help” at the age of eleven by his mother, Lisa Kitter. At the age of thirteen, he was doing book reports on titles such as “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. Upon graduating from high school, Brenden went on to become a highly successful personal trainer, receiving his certification through the National Academy of Sports Medicine.Brenden is also a single parent to his three children: Sophia Rose, Jasmine Nai’a and Phoenix Alexander. Much of what Brenden writes, speaks about, teaches and trains on revolves around parenting, dating, relationships, self-empowerment, fitness and authenticity.Currently, Brenden resides in Phoenix, Arizona, and works in the world of commercial real estate development.Warning: This interview has some slightly ribald humor in parts. In This Interview Brenden and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How acknowledging all aspects of ourselves is important.Why we need to be less judgmental of ourselves as we try to grow and change.In order to move forward forgiving yourself is paramount.Comfort versus happiness.How we can't judge choices until we see the results.Making sure that your daily actions align to your dreams.Getting honest about achieving our goals.What working as a waiter in a nudist resort taught him about humility.How to not project your own bull*shit onto your kids.How to handle negative energy from other people.Avoiding the guru complex in the self-help world.Staying authentic.Brenden Dilley LinksBrenden Dilley HomepageBuy Still Breathin'Brenden Dilley on Twitter Some of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Apr 201438min

Dave Davies of The Kinks

Dave Davies of The Kinks

This week on The One You Feed we have Dave Davies of the legendary band The Kinks.As lead guitarist and founder of The Kinks, Dave Davies is one of the most unpredictable and original forces in rock, without whom guitar-rock styles including heavy metal and punk would have been inconceivable. A member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Dave's massive guitar sounds have inspired bands from Van Halen to Green Day. In addition to his dozens of albums with The Kinks, Dave has released three official solo albums.In 2003, Davies was ranked 88th in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time"He has released six official studio albums, the latest being 2013's I Will Be Me.  He is also the author of a new book called Heal: A Guide to Meditation.In This Interview Dave and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How early in life he heard the pull of the two wolves.How we need both wolves.His new book Heal: A Guide to Meditation.The value of meditation.How breathing affects the mind and body.How meditation helped him to recover from his massive stroke.Star Trek and Star Wars.How we need our pain.The power of intention.Some of his favorite solo records.The karma of his relationship with his brother, Ray.The value of happy accidents.Some of his favorite guitar riffs.The origins of his beautiful song Flowers in the Rain.Thoughts on a Kinks reunion.What he has planned for the future.Dave Davies LinksDave Davies HompageHeal: A Guide to MeditationDave's excellent new record I Will Be MeDave Davies on Twitter Some of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

31 Mars 201431min

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