Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake

Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake

Let's talk about gender and biosex and sex assigned at birth and anatomy and surgery and language. In this episode Blake, FTM, and I a ciswoman pull apart what we experience on a day to day basis to develop a better world for the future. For part of the episode I go through the criteria of gender dysphoria as outlined in the DSM 5. Here there are if you'd like to follow along: In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following: 1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender 4. A strong desire to be of the other gender 5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender 6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender Why does Blake identify as FTM rather than a transman? "While I’m not offended if someone refers to me as a transman, I prefer to say I’m FTM, or a female-to-male trans person. The main reason is that the term FTM just feels correct. It sounds right when I say it. It feels authentic. I don’t get that “it fits” feeling with transman, non-binary, or any other gendery word. However, it’s okay if my experience seems familiar to you and you do use a different term than I do. Or if you’re FTm and your experience is nothing like mine. We’re equally valid. I just know what fits for me. I don’t feel that my gender is particularly “man”, and I struggle to relate to most men, cis or trans. I know that I get the “it fits” feeling with my current name, Blake, but not with my birth name. He/him/his pronouns fit too. They/them doesn’t bother me, but doesn’t feel as correct as he/him. Being called she/her causes me pain. When I had breasts, I knew that I’d feel more correct without them, so I removed them, and I do indeed feel more at home in my own body now. I was similarly confident about not wanting my uterus and ovaries. I have mixed feelings about the idea of having/obtaining a penis. I rarely feel pain/dysphoria when I see my own genitalia, but I do wish that I didn’t have to worry about having this genitalia - I wish men’s bathrooms had more stalls, I wish my genitals weren’t remarkable or confusing to doctors or potential sexual partners, but I don’t hate having a vulva. I’m not always comfortable with other people interacting with it, though I often am, but I find that the most emotionally fulfilling sex for me involves me penetrating another person with a “realistic” phallus. It’s how I feel most sexually fulfilled, even if that means my genitals aren’t stimulated by another person and/or I don’t have an orgasm. But having a penis 24/7 seems really inconvenient, honestly, and I don’t like the feeling of wearing a packer. I like the look of a bulge on me, but not enough to wear a packer. I like that I was “born female” and I wouldn’t change it. I like using a term that has female in it. I am thankful to have been raised as a girl. I didn’t feel like anything but a girl, until I realized that I’d never thought about it. But by then, I’d spent 18 years avoiding boys. Boys were mean to me. Men scare me. So using a term with “man” in it feels less authentic, and I don’t want to be them or be like them. Manhood isn’t appealing to me, even though much of “male”-ness feels essential to me."

Avsnitt(94)

Episode 22: WHAT'S MY BODY DOING with the up-and-coming Eva

Episode 22: WHAT'S MY BODY DOING with the up-and-coming Eva

Eva has a sex education YouTube channel she's built from the ground up. No Green-Brothers golden ticket for her. She's doing it and she's doing it well! In this episode we talk about our favorite sex things, how we're both nerdy in our collection of sexual objects. It's a shout-out to this episode of the Sexplanations YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWn6Hf_5OI

20 Nov 201737min

Episode 21: SEX MANUALS & BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS with author and sex ed vlogger Hannah Witton

Episode 21: SEX MANUALS & BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS with author and sex ed vlogger Hannah Witton

It's time to revisit sex book recommendations and I thought "Hannah Witton" of course! She recently published her book Doing It and heads up the Banging Book Club that group reads sex books and reports back via the internet. In many ways Hannah is the go-to person for sex book recommendations. In this episode of the Sexplanations Podcast she reads an excerpt from her book and gives us some ideas about what other helpful resources there are topic of sexuality, one of our favorite topics.

11 Nov 201743min

Episode 20: IS IT C-U-M or C-O-M-E with the ever so wonderful Dr. Aaron Carroll

Episode 20: IS IT C-U-M or C-O-M-E with the ever so wonderful Dr. Aaron Carroll

I love hanging out with Aaron. He's smart and easy-going, he's a great conversationalist, and values not doing harm. In just shy of an hour I asked him some of your sex questions and tested his knowledge. He passed with flying colors, of course. What a great feeling to hear about sex positivity in the medical field and learn the doctor's thoughts on somewhat controversial topics such as aphrodisiacs, circumcision, and testing protocol.

30 Okt 201737min

Episode 19: WHAT'S THIS HUMP with Stevie Boebi

Episode 19: WHAT'S THIS HUMP with Stevie Boebi

Stevie Boebi is a popular YouTuber based in Los Angeles. She came to visit me in Missoula, Montana and I asked her to talk with me about sexual injustices. In her words everything about her life is political because she identifies as a lesbian, and so there are a lot of injustices: sex education, relationships, advertising, and the media. Check out her channel youtube.com/stevie and keep learning.

23 Okt 201749min

Episode 18: WHAT ABOUT THE MYERS-BRIGGS OF SEXUALITY featuring Ashe

Episode 18: WHAT ABOUT THE MYERS-BRIGGS OF SEXUALITY featuring Ashe

While re-visiting Sexplanations' discussion of Alfred Kinsey's scale of sexual orientation it becomes increasingly apparent how out-dated the model is. Join Ashe and Lindsey as they unpack the textbook charts of sexual orientation and flop around designs of their own ideas. A dot in space, a code, a name, nothing at all? What will become of the words homosexual and heterosexual? Are they presently accurate? What's a better replacement?

13 Okt 201746min

Episode 17: I REMEMBER WHEN MS. CAME OUT co-hosted by Anne Harris

Episode 17: I REMEMBER WHEN MS. CAME OUT co-hosted by Anne Harris

Heterosexuals were by definition the original perverts which is why I invited poly-pan-trans-grandma Anne to share her thoughts on all things sexual and gender oriented. Are homosexuals really heterosexuals? Is it too much to change a person's pronouns? What does industry have to do with labels? Does anyone on the Sexplanations Podcast not do Kegels when I start talking about the Main Squeeze? My follow-up questions after talking with Anne: who determines which language is political correct? What if those decision makers disagree? How many words have been coined in the last 100 years and how many of them relate to gender and or sexuality?

6 Okt 201752min

Episode 16: WE ALL RUBBED IT ON THE FLOOR with the wicked smart and handsome Michael Beers

Episode 16: WE ALL RUBBED IT ON THE FLOOR with the wicked smart and handsome Michael Beers

I asked Michael to hang out with me because he's quick-witted and endearing and all sorts of lovely qualities. My goal was to talk about dry humping, which we did, but we also got to delve into one of my deepest passions -- sex and disabilities. I learned about sex in the desert, how willing I am to divulge details about my personal life, and how orgasmic things can get if you really do the Main Squeeze every week.

30 Sep 201738min

Episode 15: IS MASTURBATION IN THE BIBLE??? with Dr. Doe's uncle Pastor Keith

Episode 15: IS MASTURBATION IN THE BIBLE??? with Dr. Doe's uncle Pastor Keith

If you're typically frustrated or even outraged by religion you might enjoy learning that there are clergy members out there with the same emotions. My uncle is a minister in rural Kansas. He believes in Jesus Christ, he believes in waiting until marriage to have sex, and he reads about religion as much as a I read about sexuality. In this episode I get to have a very loving and gentle conversation with him about masturbation, anal sex, homosexuality, sin, grace, and judgment. We laugh, he tears up, I challenge scripture, he shows compassion. I hope you enjoy. Ancora imparo.

25 Sep 201754min

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