148. Understanding ADHD in our 20s ft. Ellie Middelton

We all know the stereotypes about the eldest child, the youngest and the only child, but the middle child often seems to be left out, and not just from our conversations on birth order theory, but also seemingly from the family sometimes. In today's episode, we putting a spotlight on the middle children, including how their position in the family makes them so agreeable, why they often become the conflict mediators, and how this can build resentment later in life.  We also discuss why middle children feel so unseen, but also are the most independent, how they behave in friendships, relationships, in the workplace, and what happens when there are multiple middle children, as well as how to reparent your middle child. Listen now!  PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

4 Nov 202443min

The idea of a 'soft life' originated from a group of Nigerian influencers who chose the term to describe a way of living that was comfortable, joyful, minimised stress whilst prioritised self care and simple beauty, in comparison to hustle culture, burnout and urgency. In today's episode we are going to go through 5 practical tips to make this gentle life your reality, including:  The 'Picture This' exercise The new way to approach your To Do list  How to organically regulate your nervous system Creation over consumption  Rethinking our ideas for success I also have a special announcement at the beginning of the episode! Thank you again for all the support. Preorder my book here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1 Nov 202437min

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including:  The debate around what makes a hobby  How many hobbies do you actually need?  How much time should you spend doing your hobbies?  The Rule of Four for hobbies The psychological benefits  The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and more Listen now if you want to make more of your leisure time!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29 Okt 202437min

Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distraction. Why is that? And why can't we stop ourselves? In today's episode, we break down:  What makes daydreaming 'maladaptive' or 'excessive'  What are the signs + the 16 item scale for maladaptive daydreaming The impact on our emotional health  Maladaptive daydreaming and creativity  Maladaptive daydreaming, trauma, anxiety and OCD  Is daydreaming a form of escapism? How to turn daydreaming into intentional visualisation  Thank you to our listeners who contributed their perspective. Happy listening!  The 16 item scale here: https://traumadissociation.com/mds  The Reddit help group: https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com       See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

25 Okt 202441min

Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including:  How we learn self criticism in childhood The evolutionary component to criticism  The role of the super ego  The role of comparison  Why no one is really looking at your that closely  How to embrace radical self compassion and acceptance How to use cognitive diffusion, and much more  This episode is a rerun whilst Jemma is recovering from an illness. We will be back on Friday with a brand new episode.  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22 Okt 202438min

In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including:  The signs your experiencing dating burnout What dating burnout and traditional burnout have in common The role of swipe based dating apps  Why this occurs and the emotional impact  The psychology of a 'dating detox'  How to have FUN when dating and how to overcome dating burnout  Listen now if nothing seems to be working when it comes too feeling frustrated and exhausted when it comes to dating in your 20s.  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

17 Okt 202435min

At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss:  What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s? My personal journey with loneliness  What are some signs you may be in it, right now?  Why does this occur? What creates this period?  How can we learn to tolerate and enjoy solitude?  What are the benefits of loneliness?  How can we make new friends and feel like we belong?  All of that, and more... Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

14 Okt 202435min

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it).  In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening! Buy Terri's new book here:  https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17  Follow Terri here: @terricole  Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Okt 202444min