Ep. 10: Tips on Oral Sex, Not Feeling Like Doin’ It, and Sex Toys

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My best male friend has – out of the blue – confessed that he loves me. I have never thought of him that way. I love him as a friend but I'm not sure I can move him from the ‘friend basket’ into the ‘boyfriend basket’? Is it really possible for that to happen? We’ve been close friends for over four years. Should we take it slowly or dive right in there with sex? What if the sex is awful and I only want him as a friend. What then?My wife of 20 years and I love each other dearly. We share the same values. We have similar likes and dislikes. But not when it comes to sex. We are very different sex types. I’m adventurous; she’s conservative. I adore foreplay; she wants to go straight to intercourse. I’m a giver; she’s a receiver. She likes sex in one position; I crave variety. If I’m honest she’s a rather selfish lover. We’ve talked a lot about it and I’ve read a lot about it and I don’t think things can or will change. But I couldn’t leave her as despite all this I really, really do do love her. Recently she said that she doesn’t mind if I do my own thing sexually and have the adventure I feel I need, provided I practice safe sex and don’t tell her. My question is should I take up this offer and if so what, how and where?What are your thoughts on this?! It’s been bugging me forever and I can’t get it out of my mind. This guy and I had a thing for years on and off and while having the most passionate sex, he would gladly accept a blowjob from me but wouldn't go down on me at all. I am the cleanest person ever and don't understand why he would refuse when I asked him to. I'm thinking maybe because he would only do this to his wife and nobody else? Or he’s just not experienced. Thoughts? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Okt 202125min

We’ve had so many questions in response to a cheating question we did, we thought we would do a special and answer questions that center around the three most asked themes: THEME: SHOULD YOU ASK FOR DETAILS? My wife had an affair with an ex of hers who was always sniffing around. She stopped it after I found out (I found text messages). I do believe her when she says it’s stopped but I can’t stop wondering what they did together. I want to know the sordid details but also don’t want to know. Does it help people recover from affairs or make it worse, knowing exactly what went on?THEME: SHOULD YOU EVEN UP THE SCORE BY HAVING YOUR OWN AFFAIR? I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, married for 2 of those. I found out a year after our wedding he lied to me about his Bach party in Canada. He went to strips clubs, he brought strippers back and had “private shows”. He even went as far as to hire prostitutes. I found out via a random message someone sent to me and he was forced to admit it. We’ve done couples counseling but I secretly still hate him and want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even the score?THEME: HOW TO RESUME HAVING SEX AGAIN AFTER AN AFFAIR. My partner cheated on me. We’ve been to therapy and have decided to work through it but we haven’t had sex since I found out he cheated. I can’t even masturbate anymore. The instant image of him with a stripper ruins my mood because all I see is him with someone else. How do I get past this and enjoy sex with him and self sex again? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Sep 202127min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My wife of 35 years has just reached her 60th birthday and she has come through the menopause in style. She has just had her first tattoo and wants to be more 'wild' in all aspects of life, including sex. She wants to do fun things, be a bit rebellious and take more risks. I sense this is also, in part, a reaction to the pandemic (we both caught Covid but were okay). While I am excited, I am a bit worried, too. I asked her what this might mean in the bedroom and she told me to "come up with some wild ideas." I am a bit out of my depth and don't know what to suggest, though I do have a wild side in me too. I am also not sure I can be wild enough for her.We’re a busy couple and hardly ever have time for sex so find ourselves having lots of quickies. Is that a bad thing? How can we make them more rewarding? We invariably end up doing it him from behind and that’s about it.Can you ever really change someone? I’ve been with my partner for four years and I’m near the end of my tether. During this time he’s had money worries, problems with alcohol, exes that reappear and text and call him out of the blue and he has cheated on me twice. He’s a good-looking man and I appreciate that he has a past but I feel like he uses his looks to excuse all the other bad behavior. He’s promised me he will change but I’m not sure he can. Should I give him another chance or bail?And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Sep 202120min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I’m 20 years old and have been sexually active about 2 years, with the same partner. The sex in itself is amazing, but it gets to a point when air gets into my vagina and makes a weird noise. This makes me feel really uncomfortable (he says he doesn’t mind it at all). Is my vagina too loose? And if so, can I do something about it? But also, isn’t it weird to have this problem at my age? Or maybe is it about the girth of my partner’s penis? I have never had a one night stand before, but I have always thought it could be a lot of fun if done right. I am afraid of taking home someone who is creepy or not trustworthy, especially these days with COVID, how would you recommend going about one-night stands in a safe yet fun way?I’m 6 months postpartum. My body looks very different and I’m very nervous to have sex with my husband again. I just recently started feeling the desire for sex again but I’m terrified he will be turned off by how I feel now and how I look. I’m not very confident with my new body type either. How do I regain my confidence in bed? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Sep 202125min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I just recently started finding interest in porn. But I’m not really finding anything female friendly. It’s very male driven and just gross and angry - not to mention, way too unrealistic. I’ve tried watching a couple of videos but they just make me want to shower afterwards because they are just awful. Do you have any suggestions for female-friendly porn sites that won’t make me feel dirty after I watch them?My previous girlfriend used to have G-spot orgasms easily but my new partner isn’t convinced they are possible because she doesn’t believe the G-spot exists. Does it? I used to quite enjoy watching my girlfriend experience one. It seemed much more intense.I always seem to end up with men who are a really bad match for me sexually. Is there a way to find your perfect sex match before you jump into bed with them? What should I be looking for if I want someone who is quite sensual and erotic and likes to take things slowly? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Sep 202125min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I am a middle aged man, married, in good health. My question is, how can I last longer during intercourse? A typical session lasts only a matter of three of four minutes. Are there any exercises or techniques that I can use to gain more self control? I've tried things such as masturbating in advance to lessen the desire, extending masturbation to longer durations to better understand my response and ways to manage it, as well as doing Kegels. It’s something I’ve struggled with all my life.I keep reading about toys and condoms getting lost inside people. Is this true? It makes me nervous! What do you do if this happens?A very good friend of mine, who is married, confessed recently that she’s having an affair. It’s put me in a very awkward situation because my husband and I often hang out with her and her husband. I don’t approve but don’t know if it’s my place to tell her that? I’m terrified to tell my husband – who I tell everything – in case he slips up or decides we have to tell her husband. He’s aware I’m keeping a secret and that’s not helping either. What’s the right thing to do here? I get the impression it’s more a sex affair than love affair. And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

31 Aug 202128min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My friends talk about their partners always hassling them for sex but I have the opposite problem. My husband is the one who doesn’t want it. Is he having an affair? Does it mean he doesn’t find me attractive anymore? I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends.My partner of five months wants to know how many lovers I’ve had. Let’s say I have reinvented myself just a little and that number might be a lot higher than he’s expecting. Should I lie?My husband has a fantasy of seeing me with another man. When he told me about it, it really turned me on and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Am I crazy or selfish for wanting to indulge this in real life? My husband seems really keen to. Is this common and where would we even start with finding someone? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 Aug 202120min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My partner and I have been together for 6 years and haven't tried anything new in a while. You say things like ‘spice things up a bit’ - by doing what though? Can you spell out exactly what you mean by that and give some practical examples?My husband’s penis is on the large side...not so much length as girth. Sex is only comfortable in a couple of positions. Despite using lashings of lube anything other than side by side or missionary just doesn’t seem to work. We’ve been together decades and I know my husband is keen to try more positions but I’m reluctant. Any ideas?I'm experiencing problems having penetrative sex because of the menopause. My husband is complaining about the lack of intimacy, understandably. What he doesn't seem to get is that I am extremely turned off by the person he has become. He sits and burps really loudly all the time - even when we are out and about walking down the street. He's also become very racist and xenophobic which I am finding totally distressing. When I try to talk to him about it, he just ignores me and says he is who he is and I either like it or lump it. Why would I want to get intimate with such a man?And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Aug 202125min