Bystander Intervention - What to do if You Witness Abuse

The inspiration for I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship was incoming board member Dan Moyle's experience at the Walk a Mile event in Three Rivers. He heard a survivor tell her story, which brought unexpected emotions and inspiration. It also brought the phrase "But I told myself 'I'm not in an abusive relationship'" to Dan. The phrase clearly became out show title. Her inspiration and vulnerability inspired the idea of sharing other survivor stories. And her need to understand abuse when she didn't recognize it inspired our mission to bring experts to listeners around the world. You will hear that survivor story today from Michele herself. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

1 Juli 202040min

Marginalized is defined as "a person, group, or concept treated as insignificant or peripheral." This means anyone who is defined outside of the "social norms." Oftentimes marginalized people face greater challenges in everything from income and jobs to health to incidents of abuse. The groups include the LGBTQ+ community, Black community, LatinX, communities where English is not their primary language and others. In today's episode, Deborah Hackworth (interim Executive Director) and Elizabeth Alderson (DASAS therapist) tackle the issues facing these groups, and how DASAS works to serve its marginalized communities. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

24 Juni 202033min

Dr. Sheena Howard recently published a novel, Nina’s Whisper, that untangles the psychology of abuse. However, the book is rare and unique because it tackles same-sex domestic abuse. Even though female-to-female abuse is largely ignored, the Human Rights Campaign estimates that 44% of lesbians experience domestic abuse. In addition, the CDC estimates that domestic abuse in LGBTQ relationships have higher rates than that of heterosexuals couples. Through her platform, Dr. Howard aims to challenge our notion of who can be a victim and challenge the script that abuse is only male to female. Sheena shared her own personal story as well as the significance of her book, Nina’s Whisper with Dan on this episode. Her hope: To not only bring awareness to listeners but also inspire you to triumph over the trauma of abuse. Dr. Howard has been featured on/in major media outlets such as BBC World, ABC, PBS, NPR, NBC, L.A. Times, The Washington Post, The Breakfast Club and more. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

17 Juni 202026min

In episode 60, Rita shared her survivor story—her stepfather sexually abused her for years. In her story, Rita mentioned that "There were periods where I wanted my stepfather to love me and I was always trying to say, 'I'm an okay kid, you can love me. See? I'll be nice to you.'" What is it that draws a victim to their abuser? Why do they sometimes want to still gain their approval? Krista DeBoer explains trauma bonding in this episode. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

10 Juni 202024min

Rita's parents divorced when she was young. The man her mom married began to sexually abuse her at around age 8. "I loved my stepfather. He was kind and I was glad to live with my mom." The first occurrence Rita remembers her stepdad beginning to molest her was at 8 years old when he called her into the house after he got home from work. He told her he needed to get her cleaned up, so he was going to help her bathe. This turned into fondling her, which began a several-year cycle of abuse. "There were periods where I wanted my stepfather to love me and I was always trying to say, 'I'm an okay kid, you can love me. See? I'll be nice to you.'" Hear Rita's story of how abuse at night would feel unreal the next day, how she would try to reconcile her love for her stepdad with his abuse and how she eventually broke the cycle. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

3 Juni 202018min

Domestic violence intervention programs exist to help abusers. In many states they're called Intimate Partner Abuse Education Programs (IPAEP). These education programs are for people who abuse their intimate partners. Your intimate partner is the person you decided you want to be close with, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your husband or wife, the love of your life, your soulmate. These programs are also called "batterer intervention." Battering Intervention Services Coalition of Michigan On this episode, Claudia welcomes Interim Executive Director of DASAS Deborah Hackworth and DASAS therapist Elizabeth Alderson as they discuss BISC-MI and other programs taking aim at those who use violence against their intimate partners. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

27 Maj 202023min

The sad, frightening reality is that domestic violence can lead to deadly consequences. Every year organizations like DASAS hold vigils to remember victims. The scariest time for many victims of domestic abuse is when they decide to leave. In this episode, Claudia talks with Deborah Hackworth and Elizabeth Alderson about the reality of lethality in domestic violence, including tips for victims. If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

20 Maj 202021min

What happens when domestic violence continues after divorce? Sometimes when a victim leaves the relationship, the abuser tries to exercise their power and control - continuing the abuse - because they feel this person "belongs" to them. You may experience this when children are involved after a divorce and parenting time switches come into play. The abuser may exercise their control during these parenting time change-overs. Interim Executive Director Deborah Hackworth and DASAS therapist Elizabeth Alderson unpack how abuse can and does continue and what survivors can do to continue to heal and find hope. Tips to stay safe: Conduct parenting time change over times with others or at a third-party location like a police station Always have a safety plan If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

13 Maj 202024min