S2 E8- No Rigid Rules: A Real Relationship With God

S2 E11 – Getting Vulnerable with R.E.S.T In this episode of Relational Trauma SOS, host Jeni Brockbank invites listeners into a deeply personal space by sharing her own R.E.S.T. process. R.E.S.T. is a framework for finding peace in the midst of relational trauma: R – Release to God what you can’t control and what you can control. E- Express to another person what you can't control and what you can control S- Symbolize Giving What Can't Be Controlled To God T- Take Action Jeni opens up about what this looks like in her own healing journey, exploring the vulnerability it takes to let go and the freedom that follows when we hand over the weight we were never meant to carry. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by what’s outside your control, this conversation offers gentle guidance, spiritual grounding, and hope for creating more space for peace in your own life.Find a FREE TS-12 Anon meeting here!  Trauma Sensitive 12-Steps has arrived. Purchase the TS-12 Anon book.  (Affiliate Link)   Read about REST on our website.

26 Sep 21min

Relational Trauma SOS – Season 2, Episode 10 Title: Boundaries: Getting to the Root Episode Summary: In this episode, we explore why it’s essential to understand the root of destructive patterns so we can place boundaries on what truly matters—not just the obvious behaviors. We discuss how missing Truth, Ownership, and Empathy (T-O-E) can allow harmful cycles to repeat, and share real-life scenarios to illustrate how subtle patterns escalate into emotional, relational, and financial harm. TOE – The Root Issues: T – Truth: Protecting ourselves when honesty is absent. O – Ownership: Protecting ourselves when others refuse to take responsibility. E – Empathy: Protecting ourselves from indifference or lack of consideration. Featured Story – Julia (Anonymous): Julia discovered her spouse had been betraying her trust in ways she never imagined. Despite therapy and honest conversations, he denied, minimized, and shifted blame. He gained control over her finances, monitored communications, manipulated the children, and isolated her from friends and family. Left financially destitute, she filed for divorce and now faces ongoing post-separation abuse. Julia’s story shows the urgent need for safety, support, and healing for survivors—and highlights the wider impact of unchecked coercive control. Scenarios Explored in This Episode: Gaslighting and Betrayal – Sophie & Charlie Addiction & Emotional Withdrawal – Claire & David Emotional Push-Pull – Lena & Chris Coercive Control – Hannah & Daniel Healing & Support: We discuss a 3-day, 2-night retreat in Utah for survivors like Julia, featuring: Trauma-sensitive yoga Therapist presentations TS-12 Anon support groups Kintsugi creative expression Angel Whisper experiences Community connection How You Can Help: $50 – Warm welcome gift $200 – One full day of retreat care $600 – Sponsor the full retreat for one woman $800 – Retreat + travel assistance $1,800 – Circle of Healing Sponsor (three women) Every dollar supports trauma-informed care, safety, and restoration. Donate: https://herwingsunfold.org/sponsor-a-survivor/ For a victim advocate to walk with you through a safety plan contact: jeni@herwingsunfold.org Resources for Survivors: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) Create Your Personal Safety Plan Connect with HER Wings Unfold: herwingsunfold.org ts12anon.org

4 Sep 33min

S2 E9 – When Patterns Repeat Like Groundhog Day: Breaking the Cycle Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a loop of destructive relationship patterns—where the same hurtful behaviors repeat over and over, almost like Groundhog Day? In this episode of Relational Trauma SOS, host Jeni Brockbank, Executive Director of H.E.R. Wings Unfold and a victim advocate, explores the Cycle of 4-A Behavior: Abuse, Addiction, Adultery, and Abandonment. Using vivid analogies like volcanoes erupting and Groundhog Day, Jeni explains how destructive patterns often follow a predictable path: Tension Building – the pressure beneath the surface. Explosive Behaviors – the eruption. Fragile Peace – the calm that follows, before it begins again. For many survivors, simply naming the cycle brings relief and clarity: “This isn’t random. It’s a pattern—and patterns can be broken.” This episode also includes a gentle guided meditation to close—offering self-compassion and empowerment through the imagery of a bird learning to spread her wings, reminding us all: This is hard. I am not alone. I am learning to soar. Resources mentioned in this episode: Step 4 inventories in the TS-12 Anon program → ts12anon.org Cycle of 4-A Behavior Worksheet (FREE) Join the 10 STRONG Wings Campaign to support women in healing Blog Post: Breaking Free From the Cycle of 4-A Behavior ✨ Trauma survivors belong here. Chapters (00:00:00) - Relational Trauma SOS: The Cycle of Abuse(00:07:04) - The Cyndicality of Relationships(00:08:16) - The Cycle of Bad Behavior in Relationships(00:12:19) - How to Break the Cycle of Dominant Relationships

28 Aug 23min

Season 2, Episode 7 — Hello God. It’s Me. Are You There? Relational Trauma SOS – A H.E.R. Wings Unfold Production Tagline: Trauma Survivors Belong Here Episode Overview In this heartfelt episode, Jeni Brockbank — Executive Director of H.E.R. Wings Unfold and certified victim’s advocate — explores what it means to heal a relationship with God after experiencing relational trauma. For many survivors, the spiritual journey is complicated. Trust, even with God, can take time to rebuild. Jeni shares personal insights, biblical reflections, and practical activities for healing a wounded relationship with God at different stages of trauma recovery. In This Episode Listener shout-outs from Pakistan, Salt Lake City, and Indonesia TS-12 Anon growth update — four weekly Zoom meetings for betrayal trauma, loved ones of emotionally immature individuals, and general support Lessons from Job on bringing honest questions to God Discovering your worth and how it changes your spiritual relationship ✏️ Three healing reltionship with God activities tailored to the trauma recovery stages: Safe/Unsafe Circles with God Writing a Personal Lament Creating an Angel Timeline Free Resources Download both free PDFs from this blog post: When Relationship with God Feels Complicated Get Involved Join a Meeting: Find a TS-12 Anon meeting Connect: herwingsunfold.org | ts12anon.org Support a Survivor: Donate to sponsor a women’s retreat seat Participate In Our 10 STRONG Wings Campaign and donate just $10 Chapters (00:00:00) - Relational Trauma SOS(00:01:32) - Her Wings Unfold: Survivor's Conference(00:03:55) - How to Start a Relationship with God(00:06:15) - Knowing Your Worth in God's Eyes(00:09:25) - How to Heal Relationship with God (Step 4)(00:12:07) - Work in HEaling a Relationship with God (Step 4)

14 Aug 19min

S2 E6 – 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders With Tara McCausland A H.E.R. Wings Unfold Production Donate now to support H.E.R. Wings Unfold: https://herwingsunfold.org/donate/ Find a TS-12 Anon Meeting: https://www.ts12anon.org/find-a-meeting.html Welcome to Relational Trauma SOS! In this episode, we’re honored to speak with Tara McCausland about 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders—a powerful guide developed by S.A. Lifeline to help clergy and spiritual leaders support individuals and couples affected by another’s unwanted sexual behavior. These best practices are especially important for anyone ministering to people navigating betrayal trauma, abuse, addiction, adultery, or abandonment. Whether you're a pastor, bishop, therapist, or community leader, this conversation offers insight and empathy for guiding those in crisis. We also highlight the growing need for trauma-sensitive healing communities and share some heartfelt updates about the expanding reach of TS-12 Anon, our 12-step program for survivors of relational trauma. In this episode: Why faith leaders are like first responders in trauma care How to support both the affected partner and the offending individual Why separate meetings with each spouse are crucial Understanding betrayal trauma and how it impacts the brain and body Recognizing and respecting the affected partner’s timeline for healing and forgiveness The importance of compassion and accountability “Understand, faith leader, that this is not a marriage issue. It’s something that’s happened within the marriage.” – Dr. Barbara Steffens ️ Special Note From the Host We’ve been wonderfully overwhelmed by the number of survivors joining TS-12 Anon groups. If you're seeking a safe, trauma-informed community, we invite you to join us. We are also forming new groups tailored to specific experiences—such as domestic violence, childhood trauma, or being the loved one of an alcoholic. Email hello@ts12anon.org if you're interested. Here’s what one anonymous participant recently shared: “I believe TS-12 Anon was the missing piece in my healing journey. I’m already noticing a shift within myself and I feel like I’m reconnecting all the parts of me that were shattered and scattered at Discovery.” If you’ve been waiting for an invitation, here it is. Support Survivors Through 10 Strong Wings She may be your coworker, neighbor, or friend—someone silently struggling after relational trauma. Your donation gives her a chance to attend our women’s healing retreat at no cost. Just $10 can make a difference. Join the movement. Resources Mentioned in the Episode: 9 BEST Practices For Faith Leaders – S.A. Lifeline (PDF) ️ Pathway to Recovery Podcast: How Faith Leaders Can Support Couples (Raabsmith Interview) Research Arti... Chapters (00:00:00) - Relational Trauma SOS: 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders(00:01:08) - Betrayal Trauma Group(00:06:47) - Relational Trauma Survivor Tara McCausland(00:07:33) - 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders on Sexual Abuse(00:11:09) - Faith leaders need to get educated on porn use(00:13:55) - Pornography and problematic sexual behavior(00:17:30) - 9 Best Practices for Faith Leaders on Pornography Abuse(00:21:46) - 12 Step: Let Go of Responsibility for Fixing the Marriage(00:24:47) - Step 3: Meet separately with each spouse who is willing(00:28:21) - Honesty and Accountability in Love Relationships(00:32:32) - How to Win an Affair: No blame for sex addiction(00:36:52) - 4 Tips for Healing a Broken Partner After Sexual Discovery or Disclosure(00:38:19) - How to Deal With a Bad Partner's Anger(00:39:22) - Don't Believe the Betrayed Partner's Story(00:43:47) - 7 Essentials of Compassion and Accountability(00:47:38) - Full Disclosure of Pornography Use 8(00:50:30) - 9 Rules of Forgiveness for Sexual Abuse(00:54:01) - Forgiveness and the Need for Trust(00:58:34) - When Trauma Survivors Unfold Their Wings Unfold

7 Aug 59min

Healing While Being Shot At: A Survival Guide Episode Description: In this episode of Relational Trauma SOS, Jeni Brockbank explores what it means to try to heal while still “being shot at”—navigating crisis after crisis. Using the powerful quote, “We don’t expect soldiers to heal from PTSD while they’re being shot at,” Jeni shares pieces of her own story and a survival guide for those who feel like life won’t slow down enough to breathe. You’ll hear personal examples, practical tools rooted in TS-12 Anon Step 3, and the Shield of Light Meditation—a trauma-sensitive visualization to help you feel safe in your body. Episode Highlights: Why shame and minimizing don’t help in crisis How to practice self-compassion and “lower the bar” when surviving How to create at least one safe space for yourself, even when life is chaotic The Shield of Light Meditation (with options for those who struggle with visualization) Free downloadable What Does Safety Look Like, Sound Like, and Feel Like? Worksheet Resources & Links from This Episode: 10 STRONG Wings Campaign – Donate $10: https://herwingsunfold.org/donate/ FREE What Does Safety Look Like, Sound Like and Feel Like? Worksheet: https://herwingsunfold.org/what-does-safety-look-like-sound-like-and-feel-like/ “Learning to Fly” Lyric Video: Watch on YouTube → Follow H.E.R. Wings Unfold: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herwingsunfold/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578036710116 Learning To Fly is now streaming on major platforms: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6OIfbSYiinkKQm8OzGxG1H?si=uBH7pEpwRuiPQcJLQkjQdw Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/learning-to-fly-single/1829108058 Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0FJYPJWX9?ref=dm_sh_EBnEwTuaFUY2TswQ9aYVJASW8 Key Takeaway: You are not failing if you’re not thriving right now. Surviving something incredibly painful takes strength and courage. These resources and tools are here to help you feel less alone and build safety—one small step at a time. Chapters (00:00:00) - Healing While Being Shot At(00:01:32) - Give a Woman Her Wings(00:02:51) - Healing While Being Shot At(00:05:16) - The Pain of Living With an Addictions Partner(00:07:10) - Exhaustion and Gaslighting(00:10:16) - Post-Separation Abuse: How I Survived(00:16:03) - Six Steps to Soul Care(00:22:43) - A Meditation for Rest and Safeness(00:24:47) - A Shield of Light for Trauma Survivors

31 Juli 29min

S2 E4: Worth It – Why YOU Are Worthy of Healing Right Now   Links to Learn More + Get Involved: Women's Retreat Details & Vision ✨ Get Retreat Updates Sponsor a Survivor ️ Episode Summary: So many of us were taught — directly or indirectly — that healing is something we have to earn. That we must prove ourselves, fix others, or forgive fast enough before we’re “allowed” to rest, receive, or repair. But that’s not true. In this episode of Relational Trauma SOS, we gently dismantle that belief and offer a new truth: You are worthy of healing. Not because you’ve done everything right — but because you are inherently worthy of healing. Join us for a soft, soul-grounding conversation on: What makes healing feel so hard to claim How betrayal, abandonment, and gaslighting distort our sense of worth Being inherently worthy What it means to say healing is a birthright A sacred invitation to support or attend the She Deserves to Heal retreat We close with a meditative reflection to help listeners reconnect with the steady, sacred self within — the part of that never left, no matter what was done to you. Chapters (00:00:00) - Welcome to Relational Trauma SOS(00:01:13) - Why Each of Us Is Worth It(00:10:17) - Healing Is Not a Prize to Be Earned(00:15:36) - How to Heal Yourself with Trauma-informed Therapy and Groups(00:23:52) - A Meditation for Trauma Survivors

24 Juli 27min