30 Questions About Anxious Attachment—Answered!

In this episode of the Needy No More podcast, I answer the top five most common questions I get from folks when it comes to the anxious attachment style:

1. Where does the anxious attachment style come from?
2. Why do I feel this way?
3. How can I "fix" it?
4. Will I always feel this way?
5. How long does it take to heal?

From there, I answer 25 questions from my audience, which are as follows:

1. Currently enmeshed and I can’t end it. I have self-abandoned and know it’s irrational. What do I do?

2. Can I heal and still be enmeshed?

3. I trust my partner but not his ex. How to deal?

4. Is it common for an anxious attacher to push their partner away when being pursued for sexual intimacy if needs are not met? If so what can be done to prevent/change this?

5. How do you heal after breaking up with an extremely avoidant partner? Feels like my all time high anxiety levels were hit.

6. Started a relationship after divorce with great communication, over a year into it and seeing so many avoidant tendencies with them. Is my anxious attachment contributing to this? I have done lots of work, now feels like I’m heading backwards fast.

7. What are some healthy ways to navigate the fear of abandonment without seeking external reassurance?

8. How can I tell the difference between a valid relationship concern and my attachment anxiety?

9. How do I balance being emotionally available while maintaining my own boundaries?

10. What strategies can help me break the habit of overthinking or assuming the worst?

11. How can I create more emotional security within myself so that I don’t rely so heavily on my partner’s responses?

12. How can I practice healthy detachment without feeling like I’m abandoning my partner or giving up on love?

13. How do I know if I’m engaging in protest behavior or simply standing up for myself?

14. How do I handle moments when I feel the urge to reach out for reassurance but know it’s coming from anxiety rather than genuine need?

15. How can I set realistic expectations for myself while I’m healing?

16. How do I stay present in my relationship without letting my fears dictate my actions?

17. How can I approach my partner’s avoidant tendencies without triggering my own anxiousness?

18. How do I balance patience with my partner’s healing journey while still honoring my own needs?

19. What are some signs that I’m making progress in my attachment?

20. What are some tips on how to heal the abandonment wound and how to manage when you feel such a horrible loss from relationships that don’t meet your needs?

21. How do you slow pace a relationship and at the same time feel comfortable moving slow?

22. How do you find peace with being alone?

23. How to heal the abandonment wounds so that if or when you get into a relationship with a fearful avoidant or dismissive avoidant, you don't freak out when they pull away? How to be secure in yourself and alone time. To not want or need them so badly ??

24. Is anxious - avoidant a really bad combo? I keep attracting and being attracted to emotionally unavailable people. How do you break this cycle? I would really love to know a way to set some boundaries for myself so I don’t get hurt this much again in the future.

25. When is a relationship over or bad enough to leave?

Here are some resources I mention in today's episode as well as other places to get further support on your healing journey:

• Read my blog, 9 Signs You're Healing Your Anxious Attachment Style, at crackliffe.com/signs

• Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
• Explore my downloadable healing toolkit for anxious attachers at crackliffe.com/starterkit
• Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching

• Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

Keywords: anxious attachment, emotional availability, codependency, emotional security, healthy detachment, avoidant attachment, abandonment wounds, emotional unavailability, relationship advice