42: What's Yours to Fix? Navigating Empathy and Boundaries

42: What's Yours to Fix? Navigating Empathy and Boundaries

Just Because I Can Doesn't Mean I Should

Over the past week, I've been connecting with lots of different people — friends, family, clients, leaders. It's truly lovely to share our lives, our successes, our joys, and even our struggles.

Something I noticed, though … when someone I care about is going through a hard time, I often find myself wanting to jump in and fix things. I really don't like to see people struggle, especially those close to me who I care about.

But I've realized that the further removed someone is from our lives, the less their issues actually impact us. And this is normal — our brains are wired for connection, and we're supposed to care when people we love are experiencing challenges.

While I used to feel a strong responsibility to help, this usually led to my own feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. As women, we're usually socialized to be the problem solvers and caregivers. But constantly taking on others' problems can be exhausting!

Not only that, but giving unsolicited advice when trying to "fix things" can feel like criticism to the recipient and lead to resentment on both ends. (I know how I feel on the receiving end of unsolicited advice!)

Here's the thing, though — sometimes, focusing on others' issues can be a distraction from facing our own.

In today's episode, I'm sharing my new practice, even after almost 20 years as a psychologist. This is an important one!

Key Takeaways:

  • It's normal to want to help people we care about, and it's just as important to recognize our own emotional responses to their struggles.

  • Consider who modeled caregiving and problem-solving in your own life.

  • Holding space for others involves managing our own emotions while actively listening and understanding what the other person truly needs.

  • Knowing our capacity and setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding burnout and overwhelm.

  • Just because you can help, doesn't mean you should. Before you offer support, ask yourself (or the person you want to help) if it's in everyone's best interest.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to The Overwhelm Cure

01:28 Understanding Empathy and Responsibility

06:42 The Problem with Unsolicited Advice

10:00 How to Hold Space

15:17 Balancing Personal Boundaries When Helping Others

18:57 Facing Our Own Issues

24:00 The Serenity Prayer and Final Thoughts

27:38 Overwhelm Cure Program Invitation

Invitation: Sign up for The Overwhelm Cure Program

The Overwhelm Cure Program is a six week program, where you'll participate in regular exercises, and we'll come together each week to discuss ways to help you finally overcome feelings of overwhelm.

Link to sign up now - https://www.kimberlyknull.com/overwhelm-cure-program

Connect with me:

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34. Cracking the Feedback Code: Why 'We Need to Talk' Feels Like a Gut Punch

34. Cracking the Feedback Code: Why 'We Need to Talk' Feels Like a Gut Punch

Ever feel that stomach drop when someone says, "We need to talk"? Feedback can be a tough pill to swallow, but today, let's unravel this topic. As adults, we're not in survival mode, so why does our brain still treat feedback like a threat? Let's dive in and rewire our response to grow and improve - without getting defensive or panicking. Connect with Kim: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community | https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

22 Jan 202423min

33. The Truth About Selfishness

33. The Truth About Selfishness

Ever wondered if you're truly selfish or just feeling that way? Let's chat about it! Picture this: you decide to attend a self-development workshop while your family holds down the fort. Feel selfish? The intention is to fill your cup, creating a positive ripple effect for your family – not selfish at all! As a psychologist, I witness many women grappling with this same mindset friction. That's why today, I'm diving deep into WHY women struggle with this heavy selfish label. From society's role in driving this phenomenon to my best tips for guilt-free self-investment, we're covering it all! Connect with Kim: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community | https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

15 Jan 202421min

32. How to Crush Resolution Burnout

32. How to Crush Resolution Burnout

Ever felt the sting of resolution burnout? You're not alone. A whopping 23% bid farewell to their New Year's goals within the first week, and by January's end, 43% throw in the towel. The 9% who triumph? They approach resolutions with a different mindset. We're diving deep into that mindset in this episode. Listen in as I share secrets to dodging demotivating shame so you can stay the course even after you feel like you've "failed." Ready for a resolution revolution? Tune in now! Connect with Kim: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community | https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

8 Jan 202425min

31. Tired of Failed Resolutions? Time for a Change!

31. Tired of Failed Resolutions? Time for a Change!

Tired of Resolutions Fizzling Out by February? The "new year, new you" dance can be frustrating, and as a Registered Psychologist, I understand why.   Let's dissect why we get stuck in this loop. The secret sauce to lasting change? It's not in lofty resolutions but rather, in small, manageable habit shifts.   Ready to ditch resolutions for habits that stick? Join me as we navigate the art of goal-setting and master the art of creating small habits that actually stick.

1 Jan 202419min

30. Your Holiday Stress Survival Guide

30. Your Holiday Stress Survival Guide

The pressure is real for practically everyone this time of year. From juggling gift lists (and financial stress) to tackling work deadlines, It's A LOT. But don't worry, I've got your back. As a seasoned therapist and mom, I've curated a treasure trove of tips and tricks to transform the holiday hustle into a journey of joy. Tune in and let's plan out your stress-free holiday! Connect with Kim: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community | https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

18 Dec 202315min

29. Real Stress Relief vs. Quick Fixes

29. Real Stress Relief vs. Quick Fixes

Feeling fed up with those quick fixes that only make things worse? It's time for a real talk on comfort vs. coping mechanisms! Recently, I spilled all the tea on hacking the stress cycle and how you can channel your ancestor's wisdom to conquer modern-day stressors on Fit Friends Happy Hour Podcast. This conversation was too good to keep to myself, so I'm sharing it with my community! Tune in to discover the secrets of stress mastery and prioritize your long-term well-being like a boss! Connect with Kim: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community | https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

11 Dec 202338min

28. How to Break Free From the Comparison Trap

28. How to Break Free From the Comparison Trap

We're all guilty of getting tangled in the comparison trap, right? And you know what's behind it? Yep, our own brains playing tricks on us. But here's the good news: the more you understand how your brain operates, the easier it is to kick those unhelpful thoughts to the curb and craft your own happiness. That's why today, I'm breaking down the psychological intricacies of comparison—the thief of joy. Tune in for the tools you need to break free from the comparison trap once and for all! CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community → https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

5 Dec 202315min

27. The Fun of Aging

27. The Fun of Aging

Let's dive into the adventure of aging. It's not always graceful, and that's perfectly fine. Retirement brings a whirlwind of emotions and identity shifts. While our culture prioritizes longevity through health, we often overlook the steps for a high-quality life as we age. That's why today, I'm discussing common struggles I see clients facing as they age, game plans I often recommend for staying physically and emotionally healthy, and my best tips for overcoming the fear of aging that's so ingrained in our society. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for Dare to Lead™ Workshop, where you'll learn the 4 skillsets of courage to level up at home, work and in your community → https://www.kimberlyknull.com/dare-to-lead

27 Nov 202323min

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