When Someone You Love Is Kinky: Love, Fear, and the Power of Acceptance with Janet Hardy

When Someone You Love Is Kinky: Love, Fear, and the Power of Acceptance with Janet Hardy

Today’s episode isn’t just a podcast about kink or BDSM – it’s a masterclass in emotional courage, vulnerability and redefining power in loving relationships. Author / kink educator, Janet Hardy helps to bridge the chasm between “normalcy” and kink.

Listener questions drive this episode and you’re likely to hear your own worries in their questions. You don’t have to be kinky to benefit from these insights - many of these issues are universal challenges in life: how do you be vulnerable enough to speak what you want and is it always a good idea to be blunt?

We begin with this question: “What if a woman struggles to own her power because of cultural beliefs?” As Footstool so poignantly puts it, many men fantasize about their vanilla partner becoming their Mistress — but how does she step into dominance when a lifetime of conditioning whispers, “Be nice. Be passive. Don’t lead.”? Janet offers a compassionate, no-nonsense response: Dominance isn’t about dominance — it’s about responsibility, clarity, and self-awareness. You don’t need to be born a Domme. You become one — through practice, reflection, and permission to shed old scripts.

Then came Wellspanked’s dilemma: “When negotiating spanking, should we talk technique and intensity beforehand — clinically — or let it unfold in the heat of the moment?” The tension here is real: too much planning kills the spark; too little, and safety frays. Janet reminds us that true eroticism thrives in the space between trust and structure. Yes — talk logistics outside the scene. But leave room for improvisation within it. A safe word isn’t a buzzkill — it’s the foundation of freedom.

One of our listeners, Ben, shared a fear so common it aches: “If my partner rejects my kinks, is the relationship irrevocably broken?” Janet’s answer? No — but it might need to evolve. Rejection isn’t always final. Sometimes, it’s the first step toward honest dialogue. What matters isn’t immediate acceptance — it’s willingness to listen, to be curious,and to try. What do you do if you get bad news? Janet has an honest answer - the relationship may need to change form — or end — with dignity.

Then came the knife-edge question: “Can a partner ever see you as equal after extreme degradation?” This cuts to the heart of humiliation play — one of the most misunderstood, feared, and exciting dynamics in kink. Janet doesn’t flinch. She explains that the power of degradation lies not in the words, but in the aftercare. It’s not about erasing dignity — it’s about temporarily suspending it, with consent, for shared catharsis. And yes — equality returns, if both partners honor the reintegration. The scene ends. The love remains.

Erika then turned to Janet’s latest work — Notes on an Aging Pervert — a book that’s “funny, sad, mind-bending.” She asked: Which essay was a lightbulb moment — for you or someone you love? Janet shared a story about aging, desire, and the myth of the “perfect scene.”

The real magic, Janet said, isn’t in the play — it’s in what happens after:
How do you come back to each other?
How do you integrate the intensity?
That’s where connection deepens — not in the whip, but in the whisper that follows.

We closed with a truth that resonates through every episode of The Weekly Hot Spot podcast: Kink isn’t an escape from love — it’s a path into it. Deeper. Messier. More honest.

If you’ve ever feared being “too much,” or worried you’re “not enough,” this conversation is for you.
Tune in. Listen closely. And ask yourself: What would it feel like to be truly seen — kinks and all?
Janet Hardy’s website

When Someone You Love is Kinky
The Ethical Slut
Radical Ecstasy

Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced Mistress

Olivia@EnchantrixEmpire.com

Mistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy

Erika@EnchantrixEmpire.com

DISCORD: LDWOlivia and LDWErika

Avsnitt(278)

Beyond the kink: unseen benefits TO YOU when you serve a Femdom Mistress

Beyond the kink: unseen benefits TO YOU when you serve a Femdom Mistress

Mistress Demi joins us today to talk about some of the things you might not think about when you serve a Mistress, Femdom and/or Goddess.What does the submissive get out of the D/s relationship?In previous episodes, we’ve talked a lot about the physical benefits of BDSM: stress relief, relaxation after subspace, endorphin release from pain play, etc.  Today, we switch things up to have a conversation about benefits you might not have thought of.Goddess Demi brings up a great point. A lot of her submissives are in dominant roles in the rest of their life so submission becomes a break from having to be in charge.Some of the topics include:Submission as a way to let go of life’s responsibilitiesHow working with a Pro Domme can allow the sub to explore all kinds of things (sexual and non sexual) without judgment.Personal growth because the submissive is a reflection of his or her Domme and the sub is therefore working to make his/her Mistress proudGreater intimacy with the primacy partner (wife or girlfriend).Learning the importance of communication in BDSM, carries over into other areas of life.Using BDSM kink relationships to break away from shame, guilt and the pressures of trying to conform.  This is especially true for feminization and sissy training.This wide-ranging conversation about kink and the intersection of BDSM and trust, vulnerability and discovering a sense of belonging.Goddess Demi’s blog:  Sensual Cock Tease Mistress Olivia’s blog:  Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog:  Intelligent Phone Fantasy

24 Mars 32min

Are you an alpha man who yearns to be a feminized sissy?

Are you an alpha man who yearns to be a feminized sissy?

Are you an alpha male for much of your life - in charge at work and/or home - but you have a secret you can’t share with any of THOSE people?  Are you, perhaps, sexually submissive and feminization helps with that submissive feeling?Are you a sissy, crossdresser or even wondering if you might be trans?These questions inspired today’s episode we talk about power dynamics, power exchange and feminization by a Dominant Woman.  Topics include:** What is an Alpha man?** How common is it for an Alpha man to want to be feminized? ** What percentage of sissies that call for Femdom phone sex have an Alpha type career or job?** Does the person who is often in control always want to be in charge?** Are the Femdom hosts always in Domme or Mistress mode?** What do we mean by someone who is sexually submissive?** What does a Femdom look for in a sissy or submissive?** What about the use of erotic humiliation when it is sweet teasing or all the way to degrading emasculation?Both ladies emphasize that not everyone into feminization is submissive. This is especially true for those who are crossdressers or who identify as transwomen. We also talk about some of the relationships we have with our subs and girly gurls.How does having a close relationship with an online Mistress help with emotions like shame and loneliness?Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy

17 Mars 29min

He called for cuckold advice. Guess what happened?  

He called for cuckold advice. Guess what happened?  

This episode is inspired by a man who called Ms Erika for cuckold advice. He wanted to know how to talk to his girlfriend about his desire to explore being a cuckold. In this episode you’ll hear about his specific situation, what Mistress Erika told him to do and then you’ll find out what happened!Topics include:Myths about cuckolds: this man doesn’t have a small penis, isn’t turned on by humiliation, and they already have a great sex life.How a phone sex Femdom finds out the difference between fantasy conversation and a request for real life advice.Some differences between cuckolding, swinging and an open relationship.Exhibitionist / voyeur fans in the sex sceneSome of the things a woman worries about before becoming a hot wife or cuckoldressCommunication tips for alternate lifestyles like cuckolding, BDSM, kink or actually any successful relationship, even the vanilla ones.How to bring up your cuckold desires. What to do when you don’t hear an immediate, clear answer to your cuckolding request.Some of the practical advice centers around talking about STD testing, personal safety with new partners, etc.Finally, what happened with this couple? Find out in this episode.Mistress Olivia’s personal blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s personal blog:  Intelligent Phone Fantasy

10 Mars 35min

Mistress advice: How to prepare for your distance domination session

Mistress advice: How to prepare for your distance domination session

Even if you’ve called phone sex before, calling a new service, or a new Femdom Mistress can be daunting. What happens? What does she do? What should you do? There are so many questions. And, those who have never called a distance domination service are even more nervous! We get it and since there are a bunch of new fans to our BDSM kink podcast, we want to give you some tips for how to prepare for your session.Today’s podcast gives you a basic understanding of how distance domination works.What happens when you call LDW Group?What are some of the different types of long distance BDSM relationships?How does kink play work when Mistress and pet aren’t in the same physical play space?Are you shy?Are you nervous?This podcast episode will help you understand a bit about what to expect, how to ask for what you want, and then how to physically get ready for your session.As usual, the conversation goes on safari with stories, anecdotes and more. Enjoy this peek behind the curtain of the business of distance domination and femdom phone sex.OH and you don’t have to be a submissive to call! As you can tell from this podcast, we love to have intelligent conversations with smart, sexy people (ie YOU!)Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy

3 Mars 31min

Sexy Sissy programming: bathtime feminization

Sexy Sissy programming: bathtime feminization

The ladies try something a little different. Today’s feminization programming is sissy bathtime. We know it’s kind of an odd title and we’re doing a podcast much more like the non-explicit parts of a session.This episode is a mix of sissy training instructions and reasons why these Femdoms recommend them for your journey into womanhood.Topics include:** Shower versus bath** Sex in the shower** Bathtime rituals for each host: Ms Olivia and Ms Erika** Bubbles or bath bombs, or bath oilsSuggestions for relaxing into the sensuality of the experience:** How to create the perfect environment** How to reinforce the benefits of this sensory experience** Why we say, wear a bikini or panties in the bathThe ladies do brief guided meditation with feminization affirmations.There is also a trance type sissy programming audio.We urge you to take the time to use the rituals and sensuality of taking a bath to honor and reinforce your feminine feelings.  We want you to take your feminization to the next level with these ideas, tips, and suggestions.Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog:  Intelligent Phone Fantasy

24 Feb 29min

Is it normal for straight guys to want to do ‘this’ sexually?

Is it normal for straight guys to want to do ‘this’ sexually?

A Twitter spaces conversation inspired today’s episode where we talk about common concerns about sexual desires. Our callers often worry if they are ‘normal’ or ask something along the lines of ‘what does it mean if I get aroused by this?’ We’ve got you!In fact, the Femdom hosts hear some version of “is this weird” a lot. We highlight several common areas of concern: Anal play / prostate playCock suckingWearing pantiesBeing a submissive manWhat is normal? Who gets to decide what types of erotic pleasure are outside the norm?Who can you talk with about your concerns?How to find someone who can guide you through these desires.You’ll also hear that you aren’t alone in your worry about being weird or whatever. The ladies share personal stories about our own experiences. Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy

17 Feb 29min

Why you need prostate play.

Why you need prostate play.

A listener asks for an episode about prostate play and prostate health. The ladies think this is a great idea for a podcast focused on playing with the prostate and all that goes along with that.The episode includes:A bit of biology, where the prostate is, how to find it, why you want to explore it.All the fun names including one that will make total sense when you hear it.What does a prostate orgasm feel like and how is it different from a ‘regular’ orgasm?What is a sissygasm and what does that feel like?If someone is a chastity pet, then the Mistress might keep that submissive caged and do prostate milking. These Femdoms talk about prostate health and using prostate milking for someone who is in long term chastity say as part of sissy training and feminization.Why would someone be nervous about or reluctant to try prostate play? The ladies talk about some common concerns. The two most common worries about anal sex are: will it hurt and will it be ‘messy.’ You’ll hear recommendations for favorite sex toys for anal play, including remote controlled sex toys.Personal stories, jokes and laughter are always part of the podcast – so we’re glad to have you here with us!Mistress Olivia’s blog:  Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone FantasyNOTE:  if you navigate to our blogs but land on TalkToMe123 you are not lost.  If you want to know more how to access our blogs, just get in touch.Here's how:Olivia@enchantrixempire.comErika@enchantrixempire.com

10 Feb 30min

Do you have a fantasy roleplay that you never want to do or can’t do in real-life?

Do you have a fantasy roleplay that you never want to do or can’t do in real-life?

Your Femdom hosts talk about why they love phone sex and distance domination. The focus is on fantasy roleplay that is only possible in fantasy or is the perfect choice for someone who can’t explore their desires in a “real” life setting.Ms Erika describes fantasy roleplay as letting go of logic and being able for a Mistress to push boundaries that couldn’t otherwise be pushed. Ms Olivia agrees, adding that being able to suspend reality is perfect for storytelling. Both ladies point out the unique intimacy in this kind of connection. Mistress Erika brings up how the long distance relationship actually reduces inhibitions and allows someone to really talk about erotic desires without fear of judgment or fear of rejection from your real life partner, wife or girlfriend.Some roleplays are physically impossible. The ladies talk about several examples including:Giantess, shrinking, and tiny man fantasiesThe magically transformed category that includes coerced feminization: male to female transformation scenes as a sissy, bimbo / slut, or submissive woman.MILF fantasies where the caller is transported back to being a young man with an older womanBi sexual exploration or submission to a Dominant manFantasy cocksucking without any fears of safety, health or other issues.All the various versions of cuckold fantasiesPublic humiliation (that’s a no no for consent and safety reasons)Exhibitionist and/or voyeur fantasiesCum eating that is hot only before someone has cum to eatSome of the behind the scenes conversation will give you insight into how we each bring our creativity to our erotic roleplay scenes.Mistress Olivia’s blog: Experienced MistressMistress Erika’s blog: Intelligent Phone Fantasy

3 Feb 29min

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