No Visible Bruises

Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent. What You Will Learn In This Episode: What is a scapegoat? Why narcissistic mothers are particularly harmful to a child The examples of scapegoating within a family How scapegoating affects a child’s beliefs about themselves Why narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cured How you can heal your children by healing your own codependency I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

20 Aug 202015min

It's not a coincidence that you end up in a relationship with a narcissist. There are always patterns to this type of behaviour. So where does it all start? That’s what we are looking at today. What You Will Learn In This Episode: How unhealed inner child wounds manifest in our adult life Why it is wrong to leave babies to cry and fall asleep by themselves How our brain actually keeps us safe by keeping us stuck in the trauma response Where our inner feeling that the world is unsafe comes from How to heal and upgrade our inner operative system What we have to look at here is deep inner child healing. When we heal and upgrade that inner child into your world today, we get a level of understanding, and when we heal that inner wound, we can change everything. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

17 Aug 202012min

In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction. What You Will Learn In This Episode: What is exactly codependency? The roots of the lack of self-love and self-worth in childhood The similarities and differences between a narcissist and a codependent How we end up in the vicious circle of a narcissist-codependent relationship Why it’s easier to heal codependency than narcissism How to start with healing your codependency When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth. Resources: Healing Codependency: Self Hate To Self Love Course: https://t4s.site/copy-of-template---quick-flip-funnel-3/healingcodependency-1/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

16 Aug 202015min

The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma. What You Will Learn In This Episode: How to tackle the feeling of overwhelm by narcissistic abuse Introduction to our parasympathetic nervous system How our childhood wounds condition our nervous system The value of body-based therapy for processing childhood trauma Being in the present moment as the key for changing your trauma response So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

15 Aug 202015min

So you found yourself married to a narcissist, and you are thinking about leaving. Or maybe you have already started the process of divorcing a narcissist, and you realise that it is only just beginning. In this episode we are covering steps and resources that can help you go through this difficult process. What You Will Learn In This Episode: Why divorcing a narcissist is not like other divorces How to take care of your personal safety first The three lanes when divorcing a narcissist Legal lane aspects: divorce, children and finances Why mediation doesn’t work with a narcissist Emotional lane: blocking or modifying communication Other people lane: creating new friendships based on trust, love and connection    Know that the first year of divorcing a narcissist is going to be really tough, but you can do it. I trust you and I believe in you, but you've got to focus on your safety and on your mental health. Resources: McKenzie Friend, http://www.mckenziefriend.co.uk/ Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

13 Aug 202019min

I'm sure most of you have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. But there is something else called Complex PTSD. So in today’s episode we are talking about the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. What You Will Learn In This Episode: What Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is The difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD Being busy all the time as one of the traits of Complex PTSD Avoiding certain things and lack of memory as possible signs of the Complex PTSD How dissociation, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts manifest in Complex PTSD Long-term health risks of this disorder The neuroscience behind the Complex PTSD If you can relate to some of the symptoms of the Complex PTSD, it doesn't mean you're going to have this forever. It just means that trauma is stuck, and what we have to do is unstick it, process it, get it time stamped into the past and move forward. I believe you, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. And I’m here to support you. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

12 Aug 202020min

When we talk about narcissism, we talk about the two main categories of narcissists - overt and covert narcissists. You know that person who walks into the room, has a sense of grandiosity and commands the attention? That’s an overt narcissist. But today I want to focus on the other type, the covert narcissist, and why I believe it’s the most dangerous type of narcissists. What You Will Learn In This Episode: Why covert narcissists are difficult to recognise How to spot passive aggressive behaviour Self-criticism or shyness as possible traits of a covert narcissist The false sense of self and the childhood wounds of narcissists Why narcissists never seek a therapist Envy, jealousy and false empathy How covert narcissists present themselves as victims Focusing on yourself as the first step in healing from narcissistic abuse   So let me know - do you have a covert narcissist in your life? Can you relate to anything that I've covered in this episode? Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

11 Aug 202019min

Narcissistic abuse isn't just some bad breakup or somebody being mean to you. This is actual trauma. In this episode I want to explain what trauma is, and to educate you on what exactly narcissistic abuse is. What You Will Learn In This Episode: The definition of trauma Why narcissistic abuse is trauma The 4 trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze and fawn Why our perception is key in triggering a trauma response The origins of trauma responses What codependency is How to start healing the trauma Although narcissistic abuse is trauma, it doesn't need to define you. I want to help you find meaning in it, so you can go on and not just heal your trauma, but you can actually thrive after narcissistic abuse. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

11 Aug 202017min