Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Jaksot(100)

The Future of Sex, Post-Nut Clarity & Kink Curiosity (ft. Hawthorne)

The Future of Sex, Post-Nut Clarity & Kink Curiosity (ft. Hawthorne)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, an...

26 Maalis 58min

Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner (ft. Gaby Balsells)

Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner (ft. Gaby Balsells)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it direct...

19 Maalis 57min

How Important Is It to Be Funny in a Relationship? (ft. Billy Procida)

How Important Is It to Be Funny in a Relationship? (ft. Billy Procida)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel t...

12 Maalis 54min

So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most...

5 Maalis 56min

The Alternative to Abortion Is Forced Pregnancy (ft. Sophie Nir)

The Alternative to Abortion Is Forced Pregnancy (ft. Sophie Nir)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with abortion activist and founder of the Abortion Positivity Project, Sophie Nir, for a fact-based conversation about abortion positivity, stigma, b...

26 Helmi 59min

Hot or Red Flag: The Truth About Modern Dating (ft. Sex Coach Aimee)

Hot or Red Flag: The Truth About Modern Dating (ft. Sex Coach Aimee)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Aimee, sex coach, host of Come Talk With Aimee, to unpack red flags in hookup culture, casual sex boundaries, love bombing, ghosting, emotional ...

12 Helmi 57min

How to Fight So Your Relationship Gets Stronger (ft. Coral Osborne)

How to Fight So Your Relationship Gets Stronger (ft. Coral Osborne)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sexologist, intimacy coach for men, and former sex worker Coral Osborne for a conversation about conflict, repair, emotional safety, and how to ...

5 Helmi 57min

From Short King to Sex Legend: The Truth About Attraction (ft. Small Hands)

From Short King to Sex Legend: The Truth About Attraction (ft. Small Hands)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Aaron Thompson (aka Small Hands) to unpack how an awkward, short kid with a conservative upbringing became one of the most desired men in a...

29 Tammi 1h 14min

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