Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)
In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex8 Tammi

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Jaksot(100)

The Truth About Mismatched Sex Drives and How to Fix It (ft. Natassia Miller)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Laura Desirée — absolute stranger, intimacy coordinator and pleasure educator — for an unforgettable conversation about how sex, grief, and shame ...

21 Elo 202552min

Does Your Vulva Make You Self-Conscious During Sex? Let’s Fix That (ft. Gabriella Scaringe)

Does Your Vulva Make You Self-Conscious During Sex? Let’s Fix That (ft. Gabriella Scaringe)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world — pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language we...

14 Elo 202556min

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Mindful Dating: Avoiding Situationships & Building Strong Relationships (ft. Connie Collins)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We expl...

31 Heinä 20251h 1min

What Porn Stars Want You to Know About Pleasure (ft. Small Hands)

What Porn Stars Want You to Know About Pleasure (ft. Small Hands)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed for another season and she’s kicking things off with adult film icon Small Hands (Aaron Thompson). From monogamy and marriage to aftercare and emo...

24 Heinä 20251h 3min

How to Be a Pro at Sex Parties: Etiquette, Consent & Confidence (ft. Beth Sparksfire)

How to Be a Pro at Sex Parties: Etiquette, Consent & Confidence (ft. Beth Sparksfire)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Beth Sparksfire — the Queen of Hacienda, New York’s legendary sex-positive community and party scene.Together, we dive deep into how to be a thought...

17 Heinä 202554min

Douching, Pulling Out & Other Myths That Need to Go (ft. Birna Gustafsson)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Birna Gustafsson, sex educator with a master's in public health and host of Explicit Studies, to talk about the sea of sexual misinformation we’re c...

10 Heinä 202556min

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