Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)
In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex8 Tammi

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Jaksot(100)

Sex, Identity & Starting Over at Any Age (ft. Lucy Hart)

Sex, Identity & Starting Over at Any Age (ft. Lucy Hart)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, performer, director, and sex worker Lucy Hart for an honest conversation about reinvention, desire, identity, and learning how to start ...

22 Tammi 52min

Sex Communication: If You’re Not Talking, You’re Guessing (ft. Elizabeth Ashford)

Sex Communication: If You’re Not Talking, You’re Guessing (ft. Elizabeth Ashford)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talkin...

15 Tammi 49min

Vulnerability Is Hot: Sex, Masculinity, & Oversharing (ft. Emi Larraud)

Vulnerability Is Hot: Sex, Masculinity, & Oversharing (ft. Emi Larraud)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the i...

1 Tammi 56min

How Erotic Hypnosis Can Transform Your Sex Life (ft. Kate Shelor)

How Erotic Hypnosis Can Transform Your Sex Life (ft. Kate Shelor)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, b...

25 Joulu 202553min

Decentering Penetration: Tantra, Orgasms & Expansive Sex (ft. Davia Frost)

Decentering Penetration: Tantra, Orgasms & Expansive Sex (ft. Davia Frost)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding w...

18 Joulu 202547min

Why Taking a Break From Sex Might Be the Secret to Better Sex (ft. Catherine Drysdale)

Why Taking a Break From Sex Might Be the Secret to Better Sex (ft. Catherine Drysdale)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex & relationship coach Catherine Drysdale for the most honest, nuanced conversation about voluntary celibacy you’ve ever heard. Together ...

11 Joulu 202556min

How to Give the Best Handjob of His Life (ft. Ashley Manta)

How to Give the Best Handjob of His Life (ft. Ashley Manta)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, pleasure expert, and the Handjob Queen herself, Ashley Manta (@cannasexual), for the most comprehensive handjob episode ever recor...

27 Marras 20251h 1min

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