Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)
In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex8 Tammi

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Jaksot(104)

Energetic Sex, Tantra, and No-Touch Pleasure (ft. Ashley Manta)

Energetic Sex, Tantra, and No-Touch Pleasure (ft. Ashley Manta)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Ashley Manta to explore the world of energetic sex: what it is, how it works, and whether you can actually feel pleasure, connection, or even or...

30 Huhti 57min

I Wanted to Be Multi-Orgasmic and Ended Up in a Sex Cult (ft. Star Stone)

I Wanted to Be Multi-Orgasmic and Ended Up in a Sex Cult (ft. Star Stone)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Star Stone to unpack her real-life experience inside OneTaste, the controversial “orgasmic meditation” (OM) community often described as a sex c...

23 Huhti 51min

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about th...

16 Huhti 56min

Disabled, Kinky & Hilarious (ft. Tina Friml)

Disabled, Kinky & Hilarious (ft. Tina Friml)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian Tina Friml to talk about:Growing up with cerebral palsy and dating insecuritiesBecoming a successful comedian even without a drivers li...

9 Huhti 1h

The Future of Sex, Post-Nut Clarity & Kink Curiosity (ft. Hawthorne)

The Future of Sex, Post-Nut Clarity & Kink Curiosity (ft. Hawthorne)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, an...

26 Maalis 58min

Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner (ft. Gaby Balsells)

Why You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner (ft. Gaby Balsells)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it direct...

19 Maalis 57min

How Important Is It to Be Funny in a Relationship? (ft. Billy Procida)

How Important Is It to Be Funny in a Relationship? (ft. Billy Procida)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel t...

12 Maalis 54min

So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

So You Wanna Have a Threesome? (ft. Gabrielle Alexa Noel)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most...

5 Maalis 56min

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