When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

In this solo episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner unpacks why grief can feel so activating when someone says they "understand" your loss—especially when comparisons miss the mark. She explores how these moments often trigger deep neglect wounds and a fear that our pain isn't being seen or honored. Rather than staying in victimhood or demanding external validation, Malisa invites listeners into a more grounded truth: our pain does not need to be validated by others to be real. Through compassionate reflection, she shares how healing begins when we recognize our triggers, take responsibility for our inner safety, and learn to validate ourselves—without minimizing the depth of our grief, or others.

  • Notice the trigger: when you feel invalidated, name the neglect wound being activated.

  • Release victimhood by separating your pain from others' capacity to understand it.

  • Practice self-validation: affirm the reality and depth of your grief without comparison.

  • Create internal safety by meeting your pain with compassion before seeking it externally.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

  • $3-Become a friend of the show and support its mission

  • $5-Ad free episodes

  • $10-Benefits listed above and free access to monthly workbook

  • $30- In addition to the above benefits, you can receive recurring ad space on episodes posted outside of Patreon. (Perfect for single owner/operator small business looking for low budget ad space)

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Contact Jen Taylor: jentaylorfani@gmail.com Jen Taylor Insta, Jen Taylor Books

Jaksot(289)

Griefie Monday: When Grief Shows Up in the Small Moments

Griefie Monday: When Grief Shows Up in the Small Moments

In this episode of the Griefie Monday series, therapist and host Malisa Hepner offers a raw and tender look at what grief feels like in the middle of ordinary life. She reflects on fluctuating moods, ...

19 Tammi 27min

From Survival to Self-Discovery: How Vulnerability Supports Mental Health and Healing

From Survival to Self-Discovery: How Vulnerability Supports Mental Health and Healing

In this deeply human conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with Gretchen Schoser—suicide attempt survivor, mental health advocate, award-winning podcast host, and tech entrepreneur—...

16 Tammi 1h 1min

Grief, Guilt & Grace: Parenting, Addiction, and Finding Purpose After Loss

Grief, Guilt & Grace: Parenting, Addiction, and Finding Purpose After Loss

Jen Taylor rejoins host Malisa Hepner for a raw, soul-centered conversation about grief, guilt, and the ripple effects of addiction on families. As mothers and licensed social workers, they share pers...

14 Tammi 1h 5min

Grief, Self-Compassion, and the Courage to Be Seen After Losing a Child

Grief, Self-Compassion, and the Courage to Be Seen After Losing a Child

In this heartfelt solo episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner shares her journey through grief after the death of her son, Jake. She explores the emotional and physical toll of loss, the loneliness...

12 Tammi 31min

Breaking Free from Old Patterns: Vulnerability, Self-Awareness & the Path to Joy

Breaking Free from Old Patterns: Vulnerability, Self-Awareness & the Path to Joy

Therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with Joni Woods, author of, "Burned, Blocked and Better Than Ever", a certified life coach and culture strategist with over 15 years of experience in communi...

9 Tammi 1h

The Happiness Helix Explained: Stress, Emotional Awareness, and the Power of Vulnerability

The Happiness Helix Explained: Stress, Emotional Awareness, and the Power of Vulnerability

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, joins Adam Brownlie, Australian author, philosopher, as he breaks down happiness, emotional regulation, and the impact of stress on motivation and mental health. Ada...

7 Tammi 58min

Loneliness, Flow, and Finding Joy: Supporting Gen Z Girls in a Disconnected World

Loneliness, Flow, and Finding Joy: Supporting Gen Z Girls in a Disconnected World

In this heart-opening conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with Faith Spencer—certified Happy for No Reason trainer and author of The Oneness Guide for Today—to explore the emotion...

5 Tammi 1h 2min

When Grief Has No Script: Sitting With Fear, Love, and the Aftermath of Loss

When Grief Has No Script: Sitting With Fear, Love, and the Aftermath of Loss

In this deeply vulnerable solo episode, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, shares her raw and unfolding experience of grief after the loss of her son, Jake. Recording alone for the first time, she spe...

2 Tammi 42min

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