SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 099: The Swingset Takes Desire Debrief - Sexy Times In Mexico

SS 099: The Swingset Takes Desire Debrief - Sexy Times In Mexico

After a slight delay, the Swingset crew talk Life on the Swingset's first trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun and squick Shira B. Katz right the hell out. We lament the shortness of our jaunt to paradise, and talk about what we hope to do next time.

17 Joulu 20121h 32min

SS 098: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular 2!

SS 098: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular 2!

Clare from Smitten Kitten returns to discuss bad toys with us, and our toy wishes for the holiday as we discuss sex toys even more! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

10 Joulu 20121h 3min

SS 097: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular!

SS 097: Smitten Kitten Presents The Holiday Sex Toytacular!

Hi everybody, it's the Life on the Swingset annual Toytacular event! We're in year three of recommending the best and most interesting toys we've played with, and laughing about the worst and worst designed toys we've suffered with. We bring Claire from the Smitten Kitten Online into the conversation and riff on... oh, something like 40 or more toys. Hop on and bring a pad of paper!   Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

3 Joulu 20121h 5min

SS 096: Sex Positive Parenting with Airial Clark!

SS 096: Sex Positive Parenting with Airial Clark!

Parenting when you're a swinger or a polyamorist isn't easy is most definitely not a topic that's well documented. Luckily Airial Clark has been picking up the slack! She joins us for a conversation on how to be  a parent and straddle the line between too soon and not soon enough. We discuss the advantages and hurdles children may encounter when coming up against an aggressively monogamist society, and all in all, how to stay sex positive.   Check out the Smitten Kitten Online's Intimate Organics Aromatherapy Massage Oils. They're Dylan Thomas endorsed! (Don't forget the discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!) Shira wants to point out the DTFH discussion with Dr. Christopher Ryan! We also had Christopher Ryan on back on episode 27. Wow...

26 Marras 20121h 1min

SS 095: The Swingset Takes Desire - Live With Tequila Body Shots

SS 095: The Swingset Takes Desire - Live With Tequila Body Shots

Cooper, Ginger, and Dylan brought Marilyn, The Professor, Tonia, and 30+ couples with them to Desire in Cancun, Mexico! 18 months of foreplay result in good feelings, a little crying, lots of sexy time, and a terribly unstructured but incredibly fun to record podcasting session where we discuss introductions, making moves, saying no, and just being part of the flow. This... is Life on the Swingset, recorded on-location, in paradise. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online store! (Don't forget the discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!)

19 Marras 201258min

SS 094: Shira Takes Over the Swingset

SS 094: Shira Takes Over the Swingset

When the Swingers are away the Katz will play!   Shira B. Katz has taken over the Swingset, and has enlisted her husband of mythical proportions Gavin Katz.  The hosts of Pedestrian Polyamory (cheap plug) aren't necessarily talking about Polyamory this week, but their ventures into a Swinger party.  Comparisons are made between the two cultures, Shira wants to ride the Swing Train, and Gavin wants to hit her with one.

6 Marras 20121h 1min

SS 093: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration II!

SS 093: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration II!

We're up for a second round of double penetration! That'd be double, double penetration.... Hmm... Anyway, We're back with questions about what to do about party invitations when you have a couple that breaks up, bringing up the cultivation of poly relationships with swinger friends, long distance relationships, partners leaving the lifestyle and potentially their relationships, being and dealing with self-consciousness about cock performance and size, the "genderless", the difference between healthy and unhealthy swinger relationships, and... Equality in freedom to explore. We covered quite a bit of ground on this episode. Take a listen, strap on those thigh dildos, and gang-bang along with us!

29 Loka 20121h 8min

SS 092: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration!

SS 092: Gang-Bang the Mailbag - Double Penetration!

Today on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast, we take your questions and give you sweet, delicious, custard filled answers. We talk about metamores not getting along, reading your partners' e-mails, the struggle to decide whether to let a swing partner cum inside your partner, swinging with a cancer conquering sexy body, our horrible, horrible fetlife profiles, our opi... well ok we covered a lot today and we'll cover a lot next week as we run hot right up to the edge of our trip to Desire.

23 Loka 201251min

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