SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 044: Fucking Technology – Sexting, Cybersex & Phone Sex

SS 044: Fucking Technology – Sexting, Cybersex & Phone Sex

We are living in the golden age of sexual communication. There are so many ways to have sexy conversations and interactions online, it's really rather amazing. We talk about our likes and dislikes, our enthusiasms and wants, and how we all get off online

22 Elo 201152min

SS 043: Flirting as Swingers, Polyamorists, & Non-Monogamists

SS 043: Flirting as Swingers, Polyamorists, & Non-Monogamists

Flirting! It's like a gateway drug, and that gateway sometimes leads to all manner of sexual exploits. Tonight we discuss the importance and value of flirting and how it has helped shape the panel's sexual lives, as well as how Ginger & Shira flirted their way onto the show. And speaking of that, this is Ginger's anniversary episode, as she's been swinging on the Swingset with us for a full year now. All this, Cooper has sexy house guests, Dylan almost picks up a woman at a buffet line at a bowling alley, dead flies, bottles of wine, and more on Life on the Swingset: The Podcast

9 Elo 201148min

SS 042: Kody Brown & the Polygamy Lawsuit – Legislating the Bedroom

SS 042: Kody Brown & the Polygamy Lawsuit – Legislating the Bedroom

Dylan hosts this episode where we discuss Kody Brown's lawsuit, the fight for polygamy, and "Sister Wives." Shira has learned the power of selfish sex. Cooper rants against religion and oppression, but what else is new

26 Heinä 201144min

SS 041: Breaking Up Is Really Hard To Do For Swingers Too

SS 041: Breaking Up Is Really Hard To Do For Swingers Too

Cooper tells the crew about the breakup he and Marilyn went through with a unicorn friend of theirs, their struggle with it, and how they've applied their feelings about polyamory and non-monogamy to the situation. The crew uses this as a jumping off point to discuss breakups in general in non-monogamy and how they differ from monogamous breakups. Then Dylan finally discusses his bisexual leanings

11 Heinä 20111h 1min

SS 040: Slut Shaming and Anthony Weiner's Penis on Twitter

SS 040: Slut Shaming and Anthony Weiner's Penis on Twitter

The crew discusses the fact that girls need to ask permission to touch too, Shira is rejected for the very first time, Dylan talks about massages at strip clubs, and we get deep into the Anthony Weiner sex scandal, discussing whether this is an example of our society's extreme slut shaming, if it's possible he has an open marriage, and how we feel about this type of scandal in general

27 Kesä 20111h 1min

SS Special – Ending The Sexual Dark Age Question About Bisexuality

SS Special – Ending The Sexual Dark Age Question About Bisexuality

In this short podcast special, the Swingset crew answer a question sent by a listener of the Ending The Sexual Dark Age podcast about how to transition yourself to being a bisexual male in the lifestyle when you'd previously identified as straight.

21 Kesä 20118min

SS 039: Debauchery at a Swing Club – Couple's Playhouse Swingers Club Near Chicago

SS 039: Debauchery at a Swing Club – Couple's Playhouse Swingers Club Near Chicago

Dylan and Cooper return to Couple's Playhouse, a swing club in the suburbs of Chicago for part two of their discussion and description of their first trip to a swingers club. Shira and Ginger add their own thoughts about swing clubs and other kink friendly clubs. Cooper talks about how odd it is to wander around nude with an erection, and Dylan continues his epic flirt

19 Kesä 201148min

SS 038: Our Swingers Club Adventure – Living it up at Chicago Swing Club Couple's Playhouse

SS 038: Our Swingers Club Adventure – Living it up at Chicago Swing Club Couple's Playhouse

After Shira discusses the wonderful world of sex and feeling better that came from having her IUD removed, Ginger talks about the benefits of hers, and Dylan discusses exploring his wife's...for science. Ginger regales us with Prof's solo date with a friend, Cooper and Marilyn take separate dates, and we discuss a wonderful trip to Couple's Playhouse, a swing club in the suburbs of Chicago, and our experiences within in part one of our two part discussion

4 Kesä 201155min

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