#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?

#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship?

When you’re used to second-guessing yourself, it can be incredibly hard to know whether your fears and insecurities are coming from your own patterns—or from dynamics that would leave anyone feeling unsafe or unsettled.

In this episode, I explore why this question is so difficult to answer, the role of self-doubt and emotional invalidation, and how to find a more grounded, balanced perspective. I also share some clear examples of behaviours that are likely to create insecurity in any relationship, regardless of your attachment style.

We cover:

  • Why “is it me or them?” is such a common source of rumination
  • The role of self-doubt and self-invalidation in anxious attachment
  • The middle ground between dismissing your feelings and being led by them
  • Why relationship dynamics are almost always co-created
  • Examples of behaviours that are objectively difficult to build a secure relationship around
  • How inconsistency and unpredictability activate anxious attachment patterns
  • The importance of zooming out and looking at the big picture
  • When anxiety is a signal of deeper relational misalignment

Resources

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(256)

#240: The #1 Thing to Focus On to Heal Anxious Attachment (Ask Steph)

#240: The #1 Thing to Focus On to Heal Anxious Attachment (Ask Steph)

In today’s Ask Steph episode, I’m answering the listener question: If you were only going to focus on one thing to start healing anxious attachment, what would it be?While there are many layers to thi...

12 Maalis 6min

#239: The Anxious Attachment Healing Roadmap

#239: The Anxious Attachment Healing Roadmap

If you've been putting in the work to heal your anxious attachment but still feel like you're treading water, this episode is for you. In today's episode, I'm sharing what I believe are the three core...

10 Maalis 25min

#238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

#238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question I hear often: If I work on my anxious attachment, but my partner doesn’t work on their avoidant patterns, can the relationship still work?I ...

5 Maalis 8min

#237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

#237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

In this episode, we explore one of the most painful dynamics after a breakup: watching your ex seem “fine” while you feel completely unravelled — and the stories that comparison creates. We unpack why...

3 Maalis 18min

#236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

#236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener who says they generally feel secure in their relationship — except when their partner travels and is physically away. During those periods, they expe...

26 Helmi 8min

#235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

#235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

Attachment theory has become a widely used framework for understanding relationship patterns — but it’s often misunderstood, overextended, or treated as a complete explanation for human behaviour.In t...

24 Helmi 15min

#234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

#234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, we explore one of the most common (and understandable) questions in anxious–avoidant dynamics: what actually helps an avoidant partner feel safe enough to open up emotionall...

19 Helmi 6min

#233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

#233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

Situationships can feel exciting and full of potential, but over time they often become a source of anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt. In this episode, I explore why situationships are so hard to wal...

17 Helmi 14min

Suosittua kategoriassa Yhteiskunta

olipa-kerran-otsikko
sita
siita-on-vaikea-puhua
seitseman
kaksi-aitia
i-dont-like-mondays
hupiklubi
ihme-ja-kumma
uutiscast
poks
antin-palautepalvelu
gogin-ja-janin-maailmanhistoria
mamma-mia
kolme-kaannekohtaa
rss-murhan-anatomia
yopuolen-tarinoita-2
rss-palmujen-varjoissa
aikalisa
kummitusjuttuja
lahko