40. I Set an Intention Around Receptivity... and Met My Inner Prosecutor

I love how when we set an intention around something, life shows us the reasons that thing is difficult for us in the first place. I set an intention around being more receptive, and life was like "alright, look here - this is why it's hard for you to stay open and trusting".

This last week I was able to observe a part of me that I had been grouping into the "inner critic" category, but she's more than just a critic. She's a prosecutor. She believes I'm NOT good enough, and I can't just relax and let my guards down, and she's always building a case and gathering evidence for why that's true. Her evidence is strong and convincing, but like all prosecutors, she's designed to build a biased case, not to present the whole picture.

One trigger, one fearful thought, one hard day, and if I'm tired or PMSing, this inner prosecutor can convince me that nothing has changed and all the evidence points to *not good enough*.

When this part of me gets loud, it's been hard for me not to believe her because her evidence is all true. It's just not the whole picture. She leaves out all my growth, all my progress, all the things that show I'm lovable and deserving and good enough as I am.

In this episode, I share why I was finally able to see this pattern so clearly, and how this prosecutor part isn't something to try to get rid of - just a part of me who needs to be understood and observed without judgment.

I also talk about how I've been binging Couples Therapy, what I've learned from the way Orna sets boundaries, and how I'm applying that to myself when it comes to eating processed sugar and spending too much time on my phone (two other things that deaden my receptivity).