My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip.

I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience, and joy.

In this episode, I break down what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and the hidden signs most families miss - from the blank‑page freeze to the endless erasing, the shutdowns, the self‑criticism, and the sudden quitting of things they once loved.

I’ll show you the neuroscience behind why your child reacts this way, the early experiences that wire these beliefs in, and the five practical tools you can start using today to help them feel enough, even when things aren’t perfect.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, exhausted by homework battles, or worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong is holding them back, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Perfectionism isn’t fixed, and with the right support, your child can learn to try, to tolerate mistakes, and to thrive again.

Highlights from this episode:

01:11 - Performance = Worth

06:05 - The signs of perfectionism

10:05 - The root cause of anxiety

14:40 - Five things that work

18:18 - Mind the gap

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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

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