I Asked God to Kill Me… Or Save Me - 26 Years Sober and Unfiltered

I Asked God to Kill Me… Or Save Me - 26 Years Sober and Unfiltered

Mary’s story will shake you — and give you hope.From losing her mother at just four years old, to growing up in an orphanage, and facing childhood trauma and abuse from her father, to falling into the grip of alcohol and cocaine… Mary knows darkness. She’s felt the hopelessness of relapse, the shame of rock bottom, and the fight it takes to claw your way back.

Now, with 26 years of sobriety, Mary is living proof that you can build a life you don’t need to escape from. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, she reveals:

  • ​The exact moment she dropped to her knees and begged God to help her
  • ​Childhood trauma and abuse
  • ​The hard truth about why relapse happens — and how to prevent it
  • ​The fine line between enabling and truly supporting a loved one
  • ​Why service work might be the secret weapon to staying sober
  • ​The tools she still uses every single day to keep her peace

Whether you’re in recovery, love someone who is, or just need proof that change is possible — Mary’s story will hit you straight in the heart.

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Trauma & Addiction: Gabor Maté & The Body Keeps the Score (An Honest Take)

Trauma & Addiction: Gabor Maté & The Body Keeps the Score (An Honest Take)

Why the pain, not why the addiction? An honest, peer look at the trauma model of recovery.This week it's a solo one. I sit with two thinkers who reshaped how we talk about addiction — Gabor Maté (In t...

29 Elo 10min

Surrender in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender sounded like giving up — until it became the thing that finally let me stop losing.For years I thought surrender meant waving the white flag: defeat, quitting, rolling over. My ego hated it....

27 Elo 15min

The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

Working the steps gets you sober. Living the principles keeps you there. All 12 — and why they hold.My mentor asks me one question: "How are you living today, Anthony?" It's easy to be a star in the r...

25 Elo 26min

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

Ten things I thought were normal until I got sober — supply math, pre-gaming, the morning panic. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a guy who did all ten of these, and didn't realize nobody else was living li...

22 Elo 19min

The Hidden Opportunities in Recovery (The Wins Nobody Claps For)

The Hidden Opportunities in Recovery (The Wins Nobody Claps For)

The wins nobody claps for are the ones that built your recovery. Here are the hidden ones.We throw parties for the first sober birthday and the first sober holiday. But nobody warns you about the firs...

20 Elo 24min

10 Weird Things My Alcoholic Brain Does in Recovery

10 Weird Things My Alcoholic Brain Does in Recovery

Ten weird things my alcoholic brain still does in recovery — and why none of them run my life anymore.I've been in recovery since 2015. I relapsed around seven and a half years in, and I'm back — a ye...

18 Elo 20min

Everything I Knew About Getting Sober Was Wrong (10 Myths)

Everything I Knew About Getting Sober Was Wrong (10 Myths)

Ten recovery myths that keep people stuck — from someone sober again after a hard relapse. Almost everything I thought I knew about getting sober turned out to be wrong, and some of it nearly cost me ...

15 Elo 23min

Staying Sober While Travelling, the Strivers' Curse & "We Could Have Missed It All"

Staying Sober While Travelling, the Strivers' Curse & "We Could Have Missed It All"

CHEF DEV IS BACK...A counsellor once asked Devan: what's wrong with the way you feel? This is that conversation. Chef Devan Rajkumar Today, he travels and cooks across different cities, constantly lea...

13 Elo 49min

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