E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help! We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with: 🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does 🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment 🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted 🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?) 🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation ✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate ✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz, and what to do instead ✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex ✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate, so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex! Ready to stop guessing what actually works? The Art of Initiation helps you figure out how each of you actually likes sex to be initiated, so you can make getting things started feel a whole lot more fun (and a whole lot less awkward). You’ll uncover your Initiation Styles, figure out what makes each of you more open to getting turned on, and get 61 specific ways to initiate that you can actually try together. And right now, you can get instant lifetime access for just $49 (normally $89). GET THE ART OF INITIATION FOR $49 →https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation Sale ends Tuesday, October 6 at 11:59 pm PT. Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

It's time for another round of Ask A Sex Therapist, where we answer your most personal, awkward, and downright fascinating questions about sex and relationships! In this episode, we're talking abou...

5 Marras 57min

E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding kinks, or pegging… but didn’t know who to a...

29 Loka 1h

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

Ready to turn things around in the bedroom? We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction. Where do your legs go? How do you...

22 Loka 54min

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another ...

15 Loka 54min

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your ph...

8 Loka 1h

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time? Oh, we've got so...

24 Syys 1h 1min

E278: How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan

E278: How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan

Your conversations have turned into a running list of who's handling what, and your quality time is two people on one couch looking at two different screens. 44% of the couples we polled said they're ...

17 Syys 52min

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