12: When Dating Triggers Your 'I’m Not Enough' Wound | A Session with Becca

"The moment you stop asking, 'Am I worthy of being chosen?' and start asking, 'Is this person actually showing me they're worthy of me?' everything changes." - Anat Peri

In this episode of The Way Back to You, I sit down with Becca, who came into our session after one incredible first date left her nervous system completely activated.

When the man she felt so excited about stopped taking initiative, it wasn't just disappointing.

Suddenly, she was questioning everything.

Was I too much? Was I too serious? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn't he want me?

What looked like anxiety about one man quickly revealed something much deeper: an old wound around not being chosen, not feeling worthy, and believing that someone else's interest, or lack of it, said something about her value.

And underneath that was another pattern Becca hadn't realized she was caught in: trying to stay positive, "high vibe," and aligned instead of allowing herself to actually feel what was happening inside her.

This session is about what happens when dating activates an old wound, and how quickly everything can shift when, instead of abandoning yourself inside the discomfort, you finally turn toward the part of you that needs you.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why someone pulling away can trigger a much older "I'm not enough" wound
• The subtle moment when dating shifts from Do I actually want him? to How do I get him to choose me?
• Why chemistry and potential aren't the same thing as someone consistently showing up
• How to identify the values and "gatekeepers" that actually matter in a relationship
• Why forcing yourself to stay positive can actually keep your nervous system activated
• The difference between spiritually bypassing an emotion and actually processing it
• What it means to stop waiting to be chosen and begin choosing yourself
• How loving yourself can look much less like affirmations, and much more like staying with yourself when the uncomfortable feelings come

Because choosing yourself doesn't mean you stop wanting partnership. It means you stop abandoning yourself while you wait for it.

And from that place, dating becomes less about proving that you're worthy of love, and more about noticing who is actually capable of meeting you there.

Your practice this week

This week, when a feeling rises and you catch yourself rushing to fix it, reframe it, or push it down to stay positive, try the opposite. Put a hand on your heart, name what you feel, and let it move through you for about ninety seconds. That is what it looks like to stop abandoning yourself and choose you.

To make it easier, I made you a free guided practice called Cultivating Safety, the exact somatic tool I use to help my own nervous system feel safe enough to actually feel.

→Cultivating Safety: Guided Breathwork & Somatic Practice

Want to be coached on the show?

I open a few spots to work through a real pattern live on the podcast, exactly like this session with Becca. If something in you leaned in while you listened, that is your yes.

→ Apply to be coached on the show

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