017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

023: Scared Stiff — What Causes Anxiety? What's the Cure? (Part 2)

023: Scared Stiff — What Causes Anxiety? What's the Cure? (Part 2)

There are 4 powerful treatment models for anxiety, including The Cognitive Model The Exposure Model The Motivational Model The Hidden Emotion Model Each approach has a completely different theory ab...

13 Helmi 201723min

022: Scared Stiff — What Is Anxiety? (Part 1)

022: Scared Stiff — What Is Anxiety? (Part 1)

David and Fabrice answer these questions: What is anxiety? How does it differ from depression? Do anxiety and depression always go hand in hand? How does anxiety differ from healthy fear? What are th...

6 Helmi 201728min

021: Ask David — Shameful Sexual Fantasies

021: Ask David — Shameful Sexual Fantasies

A listener with OCD is plagued with intrusive and shameful sexual fantasies. David discusses his treatment strategies for a young man from Argentina who was struggling with forbidden fantasies of Jesu...

30 Tammi 201716min

020: The Truth About Antidepressants?

020: The Truth About Antidepressants?

Discussion of recent startling and disturbing research studies by Dr. Irving Kirsch and others that suggest that the chemicals called "antidepressants" may, in reality, have few or no true antidepress...

23 Tammi 201732min

019: Ask David — The Defiant Child: A Secret All Parents Should Know

019: Ask David — The Defiant Child: A Secret All Parents Should Know

Can the EAR techniques help a listener deal more effectively with a defiant, oppositional child. Dr. Burns reveals a fantastically helpful secret that he and his wife stumbled across in raising their ...

16 Tammi 201724min

018: Ask David — Overcoming the Fear of Death

018: Ask David — Overcoming the Fear of Death

David and Fabrice address this question submitted by a listener: Dear Dr. Burns, I read Feeling Good twenty years ago. It was a wonderful relief and help to me. Your book has helped me live a better a...

9 Tammi 201710min

016a: Special Interview: Can Depression and Anxiety Be Treated in a Two-Hour Therapy Session? with Lisa Kelley

016a: Special Interview: Can Depression and Anxiety Be Treated in a Two-Hour Therapy Session? with Lisa Kelley

David and Fabrice are joined by Lisa Kelley, a certified TEAM-CBT therapist and former journalist from Littleton, Colorado. Lisa interviews David about an interview / blog David has just published on ...

28 Joulu 201641min

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