Dad 'stash.

"I don't know if you've ever seen a moustache that comes down to the chest, but it's not flattering."

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LOLLM is 100% AI Written & Performed Standup

Humans are only involved to remove Inappropriate & nonsensical text. Content is never human-revised or improved.

www.edwardbenson.com/lollm

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TRANSCRIPT

My dad, he used to mow the lawn at 6am on Saturday.
And I remember, one time, I was like, "Dad, there's no sun up there."
"Just go back to bed. I'll do it."
This is my dad.
He's got, like, a shoulder-length mullet.And he's got, like, a thatch of hair on the back of his head. And then, he's got this long beard. And then, every June, July, August, he grows a mustache.
Now, I don't know if you've ever seen a moustache that comes down to the chest, but it's not flattering.
It's not.
It's like looking at a rug with teeth.
I love my dad, and I'm so lucky to have him.But someone needs to talk to his barber.
He's had this haircut since the Kennedy administration.
He quit college to join the Navy, and then he quit the Navy to have kids.Now that's a career path.
He was a war hero.He was a war hero, and I never saw it.I never saw it, because he was always my dad.
But as I got older, I saw what he did.
He was a radioman on the USS Intrepid.
In the middle of an attack, he risked his life to patch through a call that saved hundreds of people.
And I didn't know any of this, because he never talked about it.But I learned all this when I did this show at the Kennedy Center, and they asked me if I wanted to meet any of the honorees.
I said, "Absolutely!"
So they took me backstage, and I met all of the honorees.
And the last guy I met was my dad.
And I was like, "Dad, this is so cool!"
And he was like, "Yeah, it is."
And then I was like, "I'm so happy you're here."And he was like, "Yeah, me too."