Beat Your Genes Podcast6 Marras 2025

369: Love - The Glue Between Anxious Women and Wandering Men

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro

02:25 Q1: When Neuroticism Sees the Breakup Coming Before He Does

11:25 Small Adjustments vs Sudden shifts

20:30 Analyzing key parameters

36:20 Q2: Pair Bonding: Nature's Anti-Chippy Software Update

45:15 Final thoughts

Q1: I am a female scoring high on the vulnerability dimension of neuroticism on the Big 5 assessment. I have always left partners first when I felt any kind of instability in the relationship or felt they weren't completely into me. I married my husband who had been my friend for years and knew he was stable and completely into me, this was comforting and we have been married for 13 years. Just knowing that men naturally value women who are fertile scares me when thinking about our future together when I am 45 and up (I am currently 35)- he scores very low in openness and expresses his contentment for our relationship, seems to value me, but I am also going to be legally blind in older age. However, I'm setting myself up to be able to continue earning an income and I am involved in social activities and hobbies on my own. I find myself wanting to leave and establish my own apartment when my younger daughter is a teenager, just so I can avoid any future problems in my relationship with him. It's like with evo psych I can see the future that he will not value me and I just don't want to ever experience that (thanks, neuroticism :( ) I would appreciate any insight and advice about this! If I bring this up to my husband he just says "what a narrow view of the world you have".

Q2: I don't understand wife, wife, wife, chippy from an evolutionary psychology standpoint. If everything comes down to reproduction and pair bonding didn't exist in the stone age, wouldn't it just be chippy, chippy, chippy, chippy? Didn't the chiefs and best hunters just sleep with as many females as they chose? I know that traditionally men had harems, slaves, concubines and multiple wives, with the men sleeping with multiple females at the same time without commitment. What changed to create the wife relationship or pair bonding in the first place?

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Become Binge Free Course by Justina Froese

https://justinafroese.com/become-binge-free/

Participants will have long-term access. It includes 100+ lectures, a community, social eating solutions, over 10+ hours of video content, recipes, and more—literally everything about recovering from binge eating. It's like a binge eating library that will be updated whenever there's something new and valuable to share.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(401)

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

A listener who knows evolutionary psychology well asks Dr. Doug Lisle a painful question. If men seem satisfied once they have food and sex, and never care about her inner life, is she fighting a losi...

26 Kesä 1h 12min

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

Why do some people freeze when they try to speak up in a group, while others jump in without a second thought? Dr. Doug Lisle says it is not shyness or a confidence problem you can train away. It is y...

10 Kesä 1h 5min

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

A listener noticed their kid gets dissatisfied after too much screen time and asked Dr. Lisle a deeper question: when your mood feels off, is it always worth analyzing, or are some bad moods just rand...

3 Kesä 1h 9min

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Most people assume mate value is a fixed, rankable number and that attraction follows logically from it. Dr. Lisle says that is the wrong model entirely. Mate value has deep objectivity across a popul...

13 Touko 1h

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four wal...

29 Huhti 50min

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Huhti 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Huhti 1h

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

Q1: I am an artist and I will occasionally use AI for reference material. But I still sketch the image out onto canvas and then paint it all by hand. My issue is when other artists create AI artwork...

24 Maalis 56min