#11 Advice to take in to 2023

Here is my round up of advice I wrote down in 2022 from books and podcasts I read and listened to

• [04:55] Life is not about ‘falling off’ (the skateboard and into the floor); it’s about the very moment you hit the floor; it’s what you do, how you react and your attitude that determine how your future is going to pan out
• [06:32] Sometimes it’s not a skill, but an attitude that develops us
• [07:07] Ultimate wealth is living a life you love
• [07:11] The meaning of life: enjoying the passage of time
• [07:18] Life is happening when you’re scrolling
• [10:58] Don’t be envious. Most of life isn’t zero sum. Just because someone else wins, doesn’t mean you lose. Sometimes that person needs the fruit and you need the peel. And sometimes the strategy that makes you lose small on this round make you win big on the next
• You regret most the things you did not too (old saying but read in barking up wrong tree)
• [16:33] If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
• [17:15] A failure for Batman means death. Luckily, you’re not trying to be Batman. But all too often you and I act like we are. We think we always have to be perfect. But you’re not Batman. You can fail and quit and learn. In fact. That’s the only way you can learn
• [19:09] The Terman study: the groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become
• [21:11] If you don’t know of any awesome groups like these (book clubs, James clear blogging dinner etc and more) the easy solution is to start one and be the hub of the network. All those other friends of yours looking for a regular time to hand out and network in a non slimy way will thank you (create a hub for regular get together)
• [23:06] ‘Authenticity is like charisma’, writes Andrew potter in the authenticity hoax.’if you have to tell people you have it, then you probably don’t’
• [23:42] Relationships are things that you build, not things that you discover
• [25:12] Don’t let your empathy impede on your self-respect
• [28:18] Staying true to your soul, develop courage to be able to keep listening to your inner voice because the outer world will only think you nuts
• [28:32] We don’t know what we need in our life until we know who we are
• [29:36] Writer and former heavyweight boxer, Ed Latimore, on outsmarting yourself: "Someone with half your IQ is making 10x as you because they aren't smart enough to doubt themselves."
• [30:54] Without altering the facts of the situation I am facing and without ignoring the reality of what must be done, what is the most useful and empowering story I can tell myself about what is happening and what I need to do next?
• [32:17] 'You make your life meaningful by applying meaning to it - it's not just inevitably meaningful as a result of the choices you've made.'
• [34:38] But I do think there's a joy in being alive that's not dependent on any person at all. And there's something permanent about recognizing that the defining energy of my life is now centred within me, not defined by anyone else.
• [36:52] When you understand love in this way - as an action, not a feeling - it's easier to see why it's unhelpful too. Erich Fromm, who compares the attitude 'to that of the man who wants to paint but who, instead of learning the art, claims that he has to just wait for the right object, and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it'. Love, by his definition, is 'a power which produces love'.

Barking up the Wrong Tree: https://amzn.eu/d/imzVxWb

Not a Life Coach: https://amzn.eu/d/bYk19OW

Conversations on Love: https://amzn.eu/d/9rc74cV

James Clear Newsletter: https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1