Anxious Attachment: Craving Connection, Fearing Abandonment

In Part 2 of our attachment series, Raichel and Maddy from Wise Mind: A DBT Podcast explore anxious attachment, also known as preoccupied or anxious-preoccupied attachment. This is one of the three insecure attachment styles and is often marked by a strong need for closeness alongside fears of rejection, abandonment, and disconnection.

The episode explains how anxious attachment develops through early experiences and relationships, and why patterns that were once protective can become maladaptive in adulthood. Rachel and Maddy discuss the cycle of reassurance-seeking, overthinking, emotional intensity, and relationship anxiety that can unintentionally push loved ones away, creating the very abandonment fears people are trying to avoid.

They also connect these patterns to brain pathways, the nervous system, and emotional responses, helping listeners understand why anxious attachment can feel so overwhelming and automatic. The episode explores common traits of anxious attachment and offers practical ways to move towards healthier, more secure relationships including of course where DBT fits in!

Most importantly, this episode emphasises a hopeful message: attachment styles are not fixed. With self-awareness, DBT skills, healthy relationships, and intentional healing, it is possible to develop greater security, confidence, and emotional balance in relationships.

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Crisis Support

This space may include discussions that bring up strong emotions or difficult topics. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please know you're not alone and support is available.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, we encourage you to reach out to:

Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7)

Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636

13YARN – 13 92 76 (A 24/7 national support line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people)

Emergency Services – 000 (if you are in immediate danger)

Acknowledgment of Dr. Marsha M. Linehan and the Origins of DBT

We honor Dr. Marsha M. Linehan, psychologist and professor who created Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

It’s thanks to Dr. Linehan that DBT has become a proven intervention for a range of mental health challenges.

Wise Mind A DBT Podcast gratefully acknowledges that DBT is Dr. Linehan’s work, not ours, and we honor her legacy.