Hyper Vigilance - Your Mind in Over Drive

Hyper Vigilance - Your Mind in Over Drive

My mind has never worked so hard, ever in my entire life. I hit a level of mental overdrive that I did not know existed. Overthinking, over analyzing, over fixing, overcompensating, over monitoring. Over, and over, and over.

This did not happen overnight. It wasn’t day one in the relationship. It was gradual. How did it happen?

Early in my marriage, I told him he had toothpaste on his mouth. He blew up and it shocked me to my core. And it never got resolved. So, lesson learned. I’ll never say that again.

I hung some new pictures on the wall while he was at work. He came home and trapped me in a circular conversation. I had no idea what was going on, but I certainly did not like it. I’ll never do that again.

I asked our son to help him in the kitchen. He stormed off in a silent rage and full-blown victim mode. I believe that our son should help in the kitchen, so I’ll work harder to say it the right way next time. What does that look like? What words work and which ones don’t?

I asked him if he could pick our kids up from an activity. Back in yet another circular conversation. So now I’ll work harder to find the right time to ask things. What kind of mood was he in? What non-verbal cues can I find?

On and on this went, weeks, months, years, decades. All the while, I just work harder. I’ll never say that again. I’ll never do that again. I’ll make sure I say this at the right time or in the right way. Always watching for those good moments, while dodging all the unpleasant ones. I became excessively hypervigilant and didn’t even know it.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com


Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(467)

Covert Narcissism in Disney: Beast vs. Tangled

Covert Narcissism in Disney: Beast vs. Tangled

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like rage — sometimes it looks like a warm smile and a locked tower door. In this episode, we break down two Disney stories that map almost perfectly onto real na...

19 Jul 24min

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1

In this two-part CNG Community Chat, four moms sit down to talk about one of the hardest parts of covert narcissistic abuse recovery: watching your children start to see it for themselves. In part one...

16 Jul 24min

Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System

Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System

When one parent shows up as the "nice, generous" one — buying gifts instead of ever offering real repair, gaslighting instead of listening — kids learn to distrust the very signals that are supposed t...

12 Jul 27min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again

In part two of this community chat, the conversation goes even deeper. We pick back up right where we left off — with Denise sharing what it actually took to go no contact after twenty-seven years of ...

9 Jul 31min

The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath

The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath

If you've ever felt like something was missing in a relationship with a covert narcissist — a flatness, a lack of depth, a sense that you're never quite reaching the real person — this episode is for ...

5 Jul 25min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat

Some of the hardest questions in a narcissistic relationship don't have easy answers — and "do I stay, or do I go" is one of them. In this episode, I'm joined by three women from our CNG community for...

2 Jul 25min

Covert Narcissist Relationships: Love Bombing, Smear Campaigns, and Surviving the Aftermath

Covert Narcissist Relationships: Love Bombing, Smear Campaigns, and Surviving the Aftermath

When you finally speak your truth to a covert narcissist, you expect relief. What you don't expect is what comes next. In this episode — the follow-up to Covert Narcissist Relationships: When You Can'...

28 Jun 29min

How to Set Boundaries With a Toxic Aging Parent (Without the Guilt)

How to Set Boundaries With a Toxic Aging Parent (Without the Guilt)

Do you owe your toxic aging parent everything... or nothing? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Stinson, author of The Obligation Myth: Rethinking What You Owe Your Difficult Aging Parent, joins the show ...

25 Jun 46min

Populært innen Fakta

fastlegen
dine-penger-pengeradet
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
foreldreradet
treningspodden
mikkels-paskenotter
rss-kunsten-a-leve
sinnsyn
rss-strid-de-norske-borgerkrigene
hverdagspsyken
gravid-uke-for-uke
tomprat-med-gunnar-tjomlid
rss-sarbar-med-lotte-erik
rss-var-forste-kaffe
fryktlos
dopet
tid-for-historie
hva-er-greia-med
jakt-og-fiskepodden
rss-impressions-2