109. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

109. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood bullying. We examine how social comparison and overthinking can contribute to a poor self perception but, also, how we can adopt the methods of radical self compassion and cognitive diffusion to silence that inner voice and be free from self judgement. Listen now!

Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s

Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself

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Episoder(410)

353. The psychology of perfectionism

353. The psychology of perfectionism

We’ve all heard someone say, “I’m such a perfectionist”, like it’s a badge of honour. But what does perfectionism really mean - and what’s hiding beneath it? In today’s bonus episode, we unpack the ps...

13 Nov 202527min

352. How to deal with someone who is ALWAYS the victim

352. How to deal with someone who is ALWAYS the victim

Have you ever met someone who always seems to see themselves as the one who’s been wronged - or maybe noticed that pattern in yourself? The sense that life is happening to you, not for you? It might n...

10 Nov 202542min

351. How gratitude changes your brain

351. How gratitude changes your brain

We’re always told that gratitude is the route to happiness – that we should be grateful for every experience we have. But when life feels like it’s falling apart, gratitude can feel less like a comfor...

6 Nov 202530min

350. When should you move in with someone?

350. When should you move in with someone?

It sounds simple. Split the rent, share space, maybe finally stop packing an overnight bag. But living together is one of the biggest relationship transitions of our twenties, and it brings with it so...

4 Nov 202543min

349. The psychology of flow states

349. The psychology of flow states

You know that feeling when time disappears, your focus sharpens, and everything just clicks? That’s what we often call ‘flow state’ - a powerful experience of total immersion where effort feels effort...

2 Nov 202521min

348. The psychology of 'skinnytok'

348. The psychology of 'skinnytok'

Extreme thinness is back in trend (again) so today, we explore the psychology behind why and the impact its having? In this episode, we'll discuss the rise of skinnytok and how this so-called ‘wellnes...

30 Okt 202548min

347. The psychology of revenge

347. The psychology of revenge

Have you ever felt that urge for payback? Revenge is one of the oldest, most universal human instincts. It seems like it promises justice, balance, or even peace. But why does it so often leave us fee...

28 Okt 202539min

346. How to avoid settling in your 20s

346. How to avoid settling in your 20s

Everyone is secretly searching for the perfect relationship, but what if your relationship is just 'good enough'? What if you feel secure, or fine about the person you're with but secretly want more? ...

24 Okt 202534min

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