1204 || learning to dance with the chaos

There’s something freeing about realizing it’s time to let go.

Life’s cycles sometimes match with my own, and things feel serendipitous and “meant to be” but more often than not, life cycles move faster than my own + I’m forced to play catch up on changes and news that I wasn’t just unprepared for, but in denial about. But things do happen. Life surprises you. And no matter how much you resist that reality, it doesn’t change it. I think life is a little bit fate and a little bit chaos. Like an improvised dance. Some steps may surprise you and others may feel like second nature, once you learn to stop resisting the unpredictability of it.

Because the steps are not meant to become more predictable to us, we’re just supposed to get better at flowing with it. Of learning as we go. Of learning how to let go when there is a mis-step and to have faith that the dancing will get more fun and beautiful as we continue.

But just because we stop cold in the middle of the dance, doesn’t mean the dancing stops. You can take a break, get a water, and become a wallflower if you want, but the real power comes from stepping back into the chaos and embracing the next moves with as much enthusiasm and joy as possible.

Because even if you choose to “hate dancing” and “sit this one out” life will eventually sweep you off your feet, and it’ll feel a lot more comfortable and enjoyable if you know how to confidently take a step or two for yourself, once in a while.

Learning a new way to dance in a new environment is not just possible, it can actually be enjoyable if I stop worrying about what I look like, or what the song was supposed to sound like, and instead I focus on finding my own rhythm within the flow that’s currently taking place.

I think I’ve spent a long time waiting for a more familiar song to play, so I can dance with confidence, but the longer I wait, the more resistant I get. If I can learn to jump in and “figure it out”, then the unfamiliar becomes familiar and the newness I feared is no longer new, and the resistance loses its power.

It feels counterintuitive, but sometimes the thing you’re resisting is the resistance itself. Once you stand up and listen to the music that’s playing, you may find yourself actually enjoying the process of finding your place within it.

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