45.  Dating Shameless + How to Transcend Shame with Jessica Stahl

45. Dating Shameless + How to Transcend Shame with Jessica Stahl

On the show today, we are joined by Jessica Stahl, creator of the indelible @vanillcooldance, to have an empowering conversation with us all about shame.

Indeed, shame is an incredibly strong emotion that can hold us back from fully embracing our authentic selves. Shame can keep us repeating the same patterns of beliefs and behaviors, and affect how we show up for ourselves. Shame can certainly impact our dating lives and how we form connections, too!

But what if we could date shamelessly?

Well, that's exactly what we're gonna do today!

In this episode, we explore the origins of shame, how it manifests in our dating experiences, and most importantly, how to overcome it. We'll discuss practical strategies for recognizing and addressing shame, and offer insights into building confidence and self-acceptance so you date - and connect - more authentically and fearlessly.

So, whether you're struggling with self-doubt, past relationship wounds, or societal pressures, this episode is for you.

Now let's meet Jessica and date shamelessly!

Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!

Enjoying the show and want to support my work? Buy the Flirt Coach a coffee!

About our guest: Vanillacooldance is a taboo-breaking cartoon and global community of over 72,000, founded by Jessica Stahl. Named the 2024 Sex & Relationships bCreator of the Year, Vanillacooldance sparks fearless conversations about sex, relationships, and living life unapologetically. Through bold cartoons and her newsletter SHAMELESS, Jessica tackles the topics we’re all secretly craving to discuss but too scared to say out loud, creating a space for people to reclaim their shameless selves. From viral street art to empowering workshops and brand collaborations, Vanillacooldance has evolved into a movement challenging societal norms. Jessica’s groundbreaking work was recognized by Cannes Lions, who named her one of 19 global female creative leaders in their 2024 See It Be It program, selected from over 1,400 applicants.

You can connect with Jessica on Substack, vanillacooldance.substack.com, and Instagram, instagram.com/vanillacooldance.

About your host: Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!

As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.

You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

💗 Happy flirting!

Episoder(172)

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Flirtini #16: Tips for a First Date!

The Flirtinis are BACK and this one is all about "Tips for a First Date!" Here's what you can expect from this Flirtini: ➡️  First date communication (planning the date and confirming the date) ➡️  Wh...

3 Sep 202529min

131.  Beyond the Checklist:  Values Based Dating with Kelsea Warren

131. Beyond the Checklist: Values Based Dating with Kelsea Warren

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re talking values based dating with Kelsea Warren! Picture this:  you date based on timing, chemistry, or pressure—like friends settling down or feeling li...

1 Sep 20251h

130.  Friend Crushes with Jewel Hohman

130. Friend Crushes with Jewel Hohman

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re diving into a topic that I know many of you wonder about, but don’t always say out loud:  friend crushes.  You know the feeling—when someone who started...

29 Aug 202558min

129.  The Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic in Dating with Carly Ann

129. The Anxious/Avoidant Dynamic in Dating with Carly Ann

Coming up on this episode of Flirations, we’re joined by Carly Ann, a therapist and attachment expert, here to have a conversation with us about the anxious/avoidant dynamic in dating! We’ll talk abou...

25 Aug 202558min

128.  Connection vs. Attachment with Dr. Janine O'Brien

128. Connection vs. Attachment with Dr. Janine O'Brien

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re answering one of the biggest questions in dating! Are we actually connecting — or just attaching? Joining us Dr. Janine O’Brien, a psychologist, educato...

22 Aug 20251h 1min

127.  Codependency in Dating with Vanessa Bennett

127. Codependency in Dating with Vanessa Bennett

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re going into the world of codependency with Vanessa Bennett! Vanessa is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a sought-after speaker, co-host of the h...

18 Aug 202556min

126.  Hookup Culture Uncovered with Dr. Lisa Wade

126. Hookup Culture Uncovered with Dr. Lisa Wade

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re joined by Dr. Lisa Wade, a sociologist, assistant professor at Tulane University, and the author of the landmark book American Hookup: The New Culture o...

15 Aug 202550min

125.  Dating Beyond the Patriarchy and Asking for More with Lily Womble

125. Dating Beyond the Patriarchy and Asking for More with Lily Womble

Coming up on this episode of Flirtations, we’re joined by the marvelous Lily Womble—a feminist dating coach, former top matchmaker, host of the Date Brazen podcast and author of Thank You, More Please...

11 Aug 20251h 4min

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