S5:E14 - Maree & Ellena - From the very first appointment to the other side

When Maree came on to record, she had just had her very first IUI. She was 35, freshly into treatment, overwhelmed by the scan schedule, quietly terrified, and moving back in with her parents to make it financially possible. We recorded Part 1 that day.

Then we waited.

Part 2 picks up on the other side — after two unsuccessful IUIs, a full IVF cycle with PCOS that produced 29 eggs and four embryos, a frozen transfer that worked on the first attempt, and the arrival of Ellena via a planned maternal-assisted caesarean. Maree pulled her own daughter out. She cut the cord herself.

In between, she navigated a lot. Fibroids that grew significantly during IVF and were monitored throughout pregnancy. An anterior placenta that meant she barely felt Ellena move until 26 weeks. Nausea so constant and all-consuming that she didn't show until very late — the hospital receptionist didn't believe she was there for a caesarean. Tongue tie, silent reflux, and a Tresilian residential stay that changed everything. And a hip dysplasia diagnosis — DDH — that her maternal health nurse picked up at two weeks, and that her paediatrician almost let slip through. Ellena is currently in a Rhino brace. She's also, by all accounts, obsessed with the nine-year-old next door who has decided that Ellena is her cousin and introduces her as such to everyone she meets.

Maree works in disability support, lives with her parents in regional New South Wales, has ankylosing spondylitis managed by immunosuppressant medication, and came to this whole thing alone — no partner, no previous solo mum in her circle, just a childcare worker who remembered a mum she worked with in 2010 who had done it this way, and quietly filed it away.

This episode will resonate deeply for women at the very beginning of this journey. And for the women who are already in it.

In this episode:

• Growing up in childcare and knowing motherhood was always the plan — but never meeting anyone

• A solo mum of twins at her childcare centre in 2010 planting a seed that never went away

• PCOS, fibroids and ankylosing spondylitis — discovering her health picture only after starting fertility investigations

• Choosing City Fertility for their transparency, the Adam app, and accessible pricing

• Navigating CMV-negative donor requirements and genetic carrier matching — a pool within a pool

• The counselling session that changed how she thought about overseas versus local donors

• Two IUI cycles — painful, unsuccessful, and the moment she said enough

• An IVF cycle just before Christmas: 29 eggs, four embryos, OHSS, and a green whistle egg retrieval she was awake for

• A frozen transfer in January — positive on first attempt, testing every day for three weeks regardless

• Fibroids monitored throughout pregnancy, anterior placenta, barely feeling movement until 26 weeks

• A planned maternal-assisted caesarean — and why having some control back made all the difference

• Tongue tie, nerve pain, and the lactation journey that ended in formula — and peace

• A Tresilian residential stay she almost refused — and the silent reflux diagnosis that transformed their nights

• Hip dysplasia (DDH): picked up at two weeks, nearly dismissed at 16 weeks, confirmed by X-ray at four months

• Living with her parents, building a village from scratch, and finding another local solo mum through the SMS Facebook group

• Plans for a second child — and why Ellena having a full genetic sibling matters to her

Key Takeaways:

• Get your fertility tests done before you think you need them — PCOS and fibroids are often only discovered when you start looking

• CMV status affects your donor pool significantly — ask your clinic about this early

• The fertility counselling session is not a gate check — it's genuinely useful, particularly around donor sibling connections and overseas vs local donors

• A green whistle egg retrieval (awake, no general anaesthetic) is becoming more common — ask your clinic about your options

• Maternal-assisted caesarean is an option worth knowing about — you can be the first person to hold your baby, even in theatre

• Silent reflux doesn't always present with vomiting — constant feeding, gasping and poor sleep can be the signs

• Hip dysplasia (DDH) in newborns: ultrasounds can miss it in wriggly babies. Push for an X-ray referral if you have any concerns

• Don't cancel the specialist appointment just because a paediatrician says it's fine — trust your instincts and get the second opinion

• Moving home temporarily is a practical, sensible, brave choice

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

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