S5:E18 - Lindsay & Aric

First Try, Water Birth & Teaching Full Time

Lindsay is the kind of person who, when she decides something is happening, makes it happen.

She promised herself at 27 — the day she left her marriage — that not having a partner would never mean not having a child. She promised herself again at 30, moving to Scotland on her own without knowing a single person. And she promised herself at 35 that if she was still single, she would make it happen that year. She was. She did.

One round of IVF at Melbourne IVF. Nineteen eggs retrieved. Six embryos. A frozen transfer in December, just before her 36th birthday. A positive result over Christmas. A water birth with a doula at 37 weeks and two days — the day after her last day of work, standing in the rain doing tram duty. Aric is now eight months old. She's back teaching full time. She's planning to donate her eggs.

Lindsay is a maths and science teacher at an independent school in Melbourne. She navigated her entire IVF journey secretly, before the pregnancy was announced, managing scans and blood tests around the school day. She came back to work at five months and has spent term one figuring out what it actually means to be a full-time teacher and a full-time solo mum simultaneously — including more sick days than she's had in six years, a daycare she describes as phenomenal, and a WhatsApp group of five women from the Preparing for Solo Motherhood course who all had babies in the same year and are now, she says, the best thing in her life besides Aric.

This is a story for anyone who's been putting it off, thinks their journey will be long, or isn't sure how it's going to work with their job. Lindsay's answer to all of it is the same: you decide, and then you make it work.

In this episode:

• Leaving her marriage at 27 and her mum's advice that changed everything

• Living and working in Scotland at 30, dating with the FYI conversation, and the decision point at 35

• The public fertility waitlist in Victoria — what it is, how long it takes, and why she's glad she explored private options at the same time

• IVF at Melbourne IVF: choosing a donor, genetic carrier testing, and the last-minute transfer of funds before getting on a plane to Scotland

• Nineteen eggs, six embryos, an OHSS risk, and a frozen transfer just before the Christmas clinic shutdown

• Managing IVF secretly as a teacher — early morning appointments, removing clinic letterheads from medical certificates, and keeping a tight circle of support

• The embryo transfer day — emotionally the hardest part of the journey, and the Facebook community moment that changed everything

• A straightforward pregnancy, no complications beyond pelvic pain, and morning sickness managed with medication

• Working to 37.5 weeks pregnant, tram duty in the rain on her last Friday, and Aric arriving the next day

• Choosing a doula as a solo mum — why it was a deliberate, empowering choice, and how it shaped her birth

• A water birth with minimal intervention, just happy gas, and what she describes as one of the most magical things she's ever done

• Negotiating maternity leave in an independent school — EBAs, school holiday pay, the conversation she had to have with her principal, and going back to work at five months

• A phenomenal community daycare, full time from five months, and navigating the first term back

• The Preparing for Solo Motherhood course WhatsApp group — five women, five babies, late-night chats, Sunday check-ins, and a care package sent to a hospital in Sydney

• Why she plans to donate her eggs — and the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny philosophy behind itKey Takeaways

Key Takeaways

• The Victorian public fertility waitlist is worth joining even if private is your plan — people drop off ahead of you and circumstances change

• If you're a teacher, ask your clinic for first appointments of the day — most fertility clinics accommodate this, and it's worth asking upfront

• Tell your employer just enough to get the support you need — but ask about EBAs and maternity leave entitlements early, because independent schools operate differently to government schools

• A doula is one of the most practical choices a solo mum can make for birth — she is your advocate, she knows your plan, and she doesn't count toward your support person limit

• The course WhatsApp group is not a nice-to-have — it's one of the most important villages you can build before the baby arrives

• You don't need a partner to have a rich support network — you need the right community

• IVF as a solo mum by choice is empowering, not a last resort. The way we talk about it is different — and that mattersYou owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?

The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.