S5:E27 - Alisha & Alexandra - part 2

Four and a Half Years Later — Alisha's Update

A note: this episode mentions the loss of Alisha's son Jeremy, who was stillborn 12 years ago today. She shares it with gratitude and without distress — but as always on this podcast, take care of yourself first.

When I recorded my first ever episode of No Need for Prince Charming, Lexi was almost two. She is now six and a half. A lot has changed.

I've been meaning to do this update for a while, and today felt like the right day — because it's the 12th anniversary of losing my son Jeremy, and I'm launching something I've been building towards for a very long time. More on that below.

But first, let me catch you up.

In early 2022, I was working full time in corporate loyalty, Lexi was in full-time daycare, Melbourne was still in lockdown, and I was running the podcast from stolen hours after she went to bed. I knew something was brewing — I just didn't know yet what it was going to be.

What followed was four and a half years I would not trade for anything. Quitting a job I loved that had become somewhere I hated. Nearly four years sober. An ADHD diagnosis that explained a lot. Writing My Perfect Family. Building courses. Three Bali trips. A book club. A Facebook group that's now 3,500 members. The Bump Membership, which is still the thing I'm most proud of. Speaking at the Sydney Opera House. Sitting on the ART review committee. A second podcast. And learning, in a book club of all places, that one of my friends used the same donor as me — and that Lexi has a little sister.

Today, on Jeremy's anniversary, I'm launching the SMS Membership. It's for established solo mums by choice — women who have their child, who are in the thick of it, who want more than a Facebook group can offer. A real community. Real faces. Monthly expert sessions on things we actually need to talk about — mortgages, perimenopause, body safety, employment rights, identity after motherhood. Plus fortnightly Zoom connection calls, state-based groups for real-life playdates, and specialist chats for neurosparkly mums, double donor families, mums without their own mum, and more.

I also want to say this: I wasn't 100% sure when I did this. I wasn't even 50% sure. But I didn't want to look back and regret not trying. And it worked on the second round of IVF, and Alexandra is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am so, so glad.

If you're on the fence — listen to this episode. And then take the next step.

In this episode:

• Going back to work in 2022 — full-time corporate, lockdowns, my mum in hospital the week I returned, survival mode

• Starting the podcast and feeling something brewing underneath all of it

• Writing My Perfect Family and why I wanted to normalise the language of donor conception for other families' children, not just ours

• Fiji with Rhiannon — and realising I almost certainly have ADHD

• A bullying boss, a toxic work environment, and the day I resigned with my bonus and Lexi in tow

• Solo Mum Society was born, and so was the realisation that books don't pay your mortgage

• Going sober almost four years ago — and why having Lexi finally gave me a reason big enough to make it stick

• The ADHD diagnosis and medication in 2024 — and how running your own business with ADHD without corporate deadlines is a very specific kind of chaos

• The first Bali trip: 24 women, total strangers, everything in common

• The Facebook group growing to 3,500 members — and why I started it when the existing group didn't match the energy of the solo mums I knew

• The Considering, Expecting and Preparing courses — why I made them, what they cover, and what it feels like to watch nervous women become excited ones

• The Disney cruise — Cinderella holding our daughters' hands, and every dream I had coming true

• The book club conversation that revealed Lexi's donor-conceived sibling — before the baby was even born

• Lexi starting school: Father's Day, a classmate who said she was lying about not having a dad, family week, and navigating all of it with teachers who read My Perfect Family

• Both Alisha and Lexi being neurosparkly — what that means for their household, and how awareness changes everything

• The third Bali trip — all-inclusive, strangers becoming people you'd think had been friends for a decade

• Speaking at the Sydney Opera House about sperm (as you do)

• The ART review committee — being a voice for solo mums at a national level

• Motherhood Unmasked and Unfiltered — the second podcast with Rhiannon

• Jeremy's anniversary — 12 years today, and why she sees his passing as a gift that gave her Lexi and everything that followed

• The SMS Membership — what it is, what's in it, and why it's launching today

• Dating? Still no. Genuinely no. And why that's the first time in her life she hasn't felt like she needed someone

• Lexi at six and a half — kind, empathetic, fun, neurosparkly, and the only thing Alisha ever really wanted

Key Takeaways

• The podcast is a time capsule — if you're considering sharing your story, please do it. Not just for the community, but for your child to hear one day

• Solo mums by choice are not a monologue — no two stories are alike; the only thing in common is choosing to have a child without a partner

• The hardest part of this whole journey is still making the decision in the first place

• If the workplace isn't aligned with who you've become as a mum, it's not a failure to leave — it's clarity

• Being diagnosed with ADHD in your 40s doesn't break anything — it explains a lot and makes you kinder on yourself

• Sobriety is possible when the reason is finally big enough — and it changes more than you expect

• Donor-conceived siblings may already be in your life — join the registers, join the groups, do the things

• "They need a father figure" — no. They need good men in their life. There are many ways to find that

• You don't have to be 100% certain to take the first step. You just have to be certain enough that you'd regret not trying

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

The SMS Membership is live — and this is what I've been building towards.

For established solo mums by choice. A real community, expert sessions on the things we actually need, fortnightly Zoom connection calls, state-based groups, specialist chats, and partner offers. Find out more here.