S5:E19 - Krisina, Otis & Ari

Two Kids, One Heart Condition, and No Regrets

A brief note: this episode mentions a miscarriage between Kristina's two pregnancies. She shares it with grace and without distress, but we wanted you to know it's there.

Kristina spent her 30s doing what she loved — living in different countries, working big marketing jobs, going out, seeing things. Children were always in the plan. A partner never quite materialised. And then her mum — a retired GP who had spent her career delivering babies — started dropping not-so-subtle hints every time she saw her.

By 38, Kristina made the appointment.

What followed was a journey that looked nothing like she imagined, partly because of the pandemic that landed in the middle of it, and partly because of the heart condition she had been managing for years — including an implanted defibrillator — that meant nobody quite knew how her body would handle a pregnancy. The answer, it turned out, was better than out of it.

Kristina conceived on her first IVF transfer at City Fertility, in Melbourne, just as the borders closed. Her whole pregnancy was in lockdown. She worked from home, mostly unseen, growing a baby in an Art Deco apartment in Prahran while the world tried to work out what was happening. Otis arrived via planned caesarean at Epworth in June 2020 — small, at 2.1 kilos, and with talipes (clubfoot) that hadn't been picked up on any scan.

What followed was five months of weekly leg casts, a small operation to release tendons, then months in boots and a bar — a mini snowboard contraption that kept his feet overcorrected while the bones formed. It was hard. He was, as Kristina puts it, a miserable baby. She moved her parents in and went on road trips whenever the lockdowns allowed.

She went back for a second child when Otis was 20 months old. There was a miscarriage between them — the numbers weren't going up, and then suddenly they were, and then there was no heartbeat. She managed it medically and ended up in hospital. It was awful. Then she went back, transferred the next embryo, and got pregnant straight away.

Seven months into that pregnancy, she packed up the apartment, flew to New Zealand with her mum and Otis, and had Ari via planned C-section at Nelson Public Hospital. This time, everything was fine. He slept. She called the midwife crying, convinced something was wrong.

Otis is five. Ari is two and a half. Kristina is about to launch her own fashion brand from Nelson. She rides bikes and scooters to school with her boys every morning. She doesn't regret a single thing.

In this episode:

• Growing up the eldest of four — always knowing she wanted to be a mother, even when she was busy living her best life in her 30s

• Her mum — a retired GP — planting the seed with increasing persistence, and why she's grateful for it

• The heart condition and implanted defibrillator that made her wonder whether her body could handle pregnancy — and why it turned out to be the wrong thing to worry about

• Deciding to keep her IUI cycles secret from almost everyone — and why she told everyone when she moved to IVF

• IVF at 38-39 at City Fertility: 8 eggs, 4 embryos, pregnant on the first transfer

• Getting the positive the day the COVID borders closed — her mum, her Canadian friend, and their bags packed

• A COVID pregnancy — working from home, nobody watching the bump grow, quietly grateful for the rest

• Otis arriving at 2.1 kilos with undetected talipes — the shock, the five months of weekly casts, the minor surgery, and the boots and bar he wore until he was four

• What it was really like — the misery, the pacing, the jiggling, the shushing, and the road trips in between lockdowns

• The miscarriage between her two pregnancies — what happened physically, the hospital trip that followed, and how she feels about it now

• Going back, transferring the next embryo, and getting pregnant straight away

• Moving to New Zealand at 7 months pregnant — what she'd do differently, and what she'd tell anyone considering the same move

• Ari's birth at Nelson Public Hospital — perfectly smooth, and a baby who slept so well she thought something was wrong

• Finding six solo mums in Nelson and building a community in a small town

• Leaving the corporate world, turning down a dream Auckland job, and launching her own fashion brand

• What surprised her most about doing this twice — and which stage she didn't expect to be the hardest

Key Takeaways

• A pre-existing health condition doesn't mean solo motherhood isn't possible — it means you need the right team, honest conversations, and a specialist who will help you get there, not talk you out of it

• You never feel completely ready — at some point, you have to decide the process is more important than the feeling

• Telling people matters — the support you get back is almost always better than you expected

• Moving countries (or even cities) for support with a second child is not retreating — it's a practical, wise decision that makes the whole thing possible

• The hard parts of the newborn phase fade faster than you think — and that's not a trick, it's biology

• The hardest stage with two children isn't the newborn period — it's when the younger one develops their own strong personality and the two of them want different things

• You can build a solo mum community anywhere, even a small town — it finds you once you're there

• Two boys, solo: they will love you fiercely, and you will take full credit for all of it

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

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