Episode 39: Decluttering your Life: A Conversation with Rachelle Heywood

Podcast Show Notes — Midlife with Brooke

Episode: Decluttering for Empty Nesters (with Rochelle Haywood)

Host: Brooke Oniki

Guest: Rachelle Heywood, Decluttering Coach

Episode Summary

Decluttering in midlife isn’t just about “getting organized”—it can be deeply emotional. In this conversation, Brooke sits down with decluttering coach Rachelle Heywood to talk about why clutter hits differently when you’re an empty nester (and often also managing aging parents’ belongings). They unpack the connection between our stuff, our memories, and our identity—and how decluttering can create space for the life you actually want to live now, not the life you used to live.

Rachelle shares practical, gentle steps to begin (even when you feel overwhelmed), plus mindset shifts to help you stop saving things out of guilt, obligation, or “just in case.” You’ll walk away with simple questions to guide decisions, and a better understanding of how to declutter with intention so the clutter doesn’t just come right back.

What You’ll Learn

• Why decluttering in the empty-nest season can feel surprisingly emotional
• How “memory” and “meaning” get attached to objects—and how to separate them
• The identity shift of midlife: making space for who you are becoming
• The difference between decluttering out of pressure vs. decluttering with intention
• How to handle adult children’s belongings still in your home (without damaging relationships)
• What to do when you’re holding onto things because you spent money on them
• Where to start when you feel overwhelmed by volume
• How to make decluttering a small, consistent practice rather than a one-time overhaul
• What to do when a spouse (or family member) isn’t on board
• A simple “gentle question” to guide decisions this week

Favorite Quotes / Takeaways

• “The memory doesn’t live in the item—it just gets sparked by it.”
• “We can honor a beautiful season without storing every artifact from it.”
• “Sometimes we’re keeping things to prove love… but love isn’t stored in a box.”
• “When we keep things out of guilt, it can taint how we feel when we see them.”
• “Less is more—when everything is sentimental, nothing can shine.”

Practical Tools Mentioned

Two Decision Questions (Rochelle’s go-to):

1. Can I comfortably live without this?
2. Would I buy this again today?
3. (Or: if it’s irreplaceable—If I gave it away and knew who had it, would I pay to get it back?)

Start Small (so it actually lasts):

• Don’t pull everything out and make a giant mess you’ll have to re-clean later
• Choose one drawer, one shelf, one small area
• Set a timer for 5 minutes and be amazed by what you can do

Donation Station:

• Keep a simple box in your home
• As you notice duplicates or unused items in daily life, drop them in immediately

The Hanger Trick (Closet Check):

• Turn hangers around
• Flip them back when you wear an item
• After a season (or a year), what’s still turned around is a strong clue

Conversation Highlights

• Empty nesting + parents aging = “too much”: your stuff, your kids’ stuff, and often your parents’ stuff.
• Clutter creates constant mental noise: even if you’re not thinking about it consciously, your brain processes it.
• Identity and “future self” clutter: supplies for the person you thought you’d be “when life slows down.”
• Kids’ rooms and guilt: you can create welcoming space for your kids without turning your home into a museum of the past.
• Spending money ≠ keeping forever: sometimes you’re “buying information” (a lesson learned), not a forever item.

About Rachelle Heywood

Rachelle is a decluttering coach who helps overwhelmed moms create peaceful, intentional homes—without constantly managing piles and clutter. She focuses on both the practical side and the emotional/mental side so the clutter doesn’t just come right back.

How to Connect with Rochelle

• Instagram: @rachelleheywoodcoaching
• Email: hello@rachelleheywood.com
• Work with Rachelle: Rachelle offers a 12-week program with a customized plan, weekly coaching calls, and support to untangle the emotional ties to clutter so you can simplify in a lasting way.

Stay Connected With Brooke

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Join the Newsletter:

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Or email me at brooke@brookeoniki.com

Bonus for Listeners

Two private bonus podcast episodes created just for women in midlife:

1. Menopause Explained
2. Enjoying Sex in Midlife

Listen here:

https://www.subscribepage.com/summitadd

Want Personalized Support?

Schedule a free one-on-one coaching session with Brooke:

https://calendly.com/brookeoniki/life-coaching-session-with-brooke-oniki If you found this helpful, please share the episode or leave a review so more parents can find these tools.