Ep. 481: Avoid Avoidance, “Planned Maintenance,” a Cooking Hack, and Books on How Things Work

We discuss why it's valuable to identify your "exceptional advantages" in both work and personal life—those unique blessings or abilities you might take for granted but actually set you apart. We also share a hack that can save you time and frustration when going somewhere, and a simple, revealing question that can help you know yourself (and other people) better. Plus, we consider a different interpretation of Secret of Adulthood: "Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.” Resources & links related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Elizabeth is reading: The Book of Cold Cases by Simone St. James (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Look Back with Love by Dodie Smith (Amazon) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

14 Maj 30min

Drift—the powerful force of making decisions by not deciding—can shape our lives without our conscious participation. Resources & links related to this episode: Secrets of Adulthood If you’re wondering if you’re drifting, I created a checklist Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12 Maj 5min

We talk to the brilliant Suzy Welch about her new book, “Becoming You,” and her Values Bridge quiz which can tells us how we rank fifteen core values—and we explore why knowing our values is such a key element to creating happier lives. Resources & links related to this episode: Becoming You by Suzy Welch (Amazon, Bookshop) "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver The Values Bridge quiz The Four Tendencies quiz List of some of my favorite graduation books Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

10 Maj 35min

We discuss why it’s useful to dust off unused items--and either start using them or give them away. We also share a happiness hack from a listener who explains why it can be very valuable to give physical therapy another chance. Finally, we explore the Secret of Adulthood about cultivating friendship, and we answer a listener's question about how and why fictional characters often embody the Four Tendencies framework. Resources & Links Related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood A Little Happier: Easy Answers or Hard Truths: Whom Do You Trust? Organization Hub Take the quiz for the Four Tendencies personality profile Elizabeth is reading: King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Pick the Lock by A.S. King (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

7 Maj 26min

Distinguishing helpful from unhelpful criticism is a challenge that every creative person faces. No formula exists for knowing which criticism to heed; we must each develop our own discernment. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Maj 3min

We discuss how regret and reflection can help us make better decisions in the future, and increase our happiness. Regret can be a hard thing to talk about. Many people who actually prefer to avoid using the word. By anticipating future regret, we can make better choices in the present, and by reflecting on past regret, we can think about how to do better moving forward. Resources & links related to this episode: How Regret Can Make Us Happier Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

3 Maj 33min

We explore why making a list of your favorite words ("whimsy," "crackle," "latibulate") and using them can boost happiness. We share a simple hack that makes packing easier, and we reflect on a dog-related Secret of Adulthood. We also tackle a listener question about how to manage Obliger-rebellion when facing increased workload after coworker layoffs. Resources & links related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Sign up for the Happier in Hollywood Substack newsletter Happiness Hack: Ratio method of 3:1 Quiz for the Four Tendencies personality framework I Want You to Know journal Elizabeth is reading: Lights Out by Navessa Allen (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: The Catastrophe Hour by Meghan Daum (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30 Apr 33min

Certain moments inspire my "America feeling"—a profound connection to the ideals of the United States. For instance, the formal words of the opening ritual for a session of the United States Supreme Court reminds me of the value of justice. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

28 Apr 2min