Self-Sabotage: Why You Do What You Shouldn’t, and How to Stop

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson interviews Dr. Paul Gilbert, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Darby and the founder of compassion focused therapy. They explore how we can grow a healthy sense of self-worth, be honest without being critical, and stop undermining our own confidence. The content of today's episode was taken from Dr. Hanson's online course, The Foundations of Well-Being. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Juni 20181h 10min

Our negative reactions to the painful experiences of life that are often more harmful than those experiences themselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can avoid these “second darts." If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:40: What are the first and second darts? 2:50: An example of first and second darts. 5:15: Finding where you have influence. 7:15: Avoiding adding second darts. 12:30: Not fueling second darts. 15:00: Changing the channel on second darts. 15:50: Managing second darts in relationships. 18:55: Sticking to first darts when communicating. 21:10: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Juni 201824min

Attachment Theory is one of the most important frameworks in psychology. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore why this theory is so relevant for everyday life, and how adults who may have had challenging childhood relationships can become more securely attached in the here and now. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: The spectrum of confidence. 2:10: How does confidence “get into” the brain? 4:30: Learning confidence. 5:45: Why do we care so much about the opinions of other people? 10:30: The link between social and physical pain. 12:45: Secure and insecure attachment. 20:00: Attaching differently to different kinds of people. 23:50: How to become more securely attached. 30:30: Why does creating a coherent narrative help us become more securely attached? 35:50: Being someone others can securely attach to. 40:40: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Juni 201843min

There is one form of happiness that is always available: happiness for others. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how feelings of altruistic joy can be a powerful antidote for experiences of disappointment and envy. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: Why is happiness for others such a reliable resource? 1:20: Why is feeling happy for others good for us? 3:15: Finding happiness for difficult people. 5:40: Mending relationships through happiness for others. 7:50: The naturalness of envy and jealousy. 12:15: Letting people land. 17:05: Working through blocks to altruistic joy. 22:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Maj 201824min

So many good things happen to us that we don't take the time to fully take in. Dr. Hanson and Forrest look at the role fully taking in the good things in life has in the process of building mental strengths. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:20: Why focus on taking pleasure. 1:45: The many little opportunities to take pleasure. 4:05: The psychological benefits of pleasure. 6:50: Why do so many people struggle with taking pleasure? 9:45: Consumption vs. appreciation 13:00: How can we get better at taking pleasure? 16:00: Finding pleasure through relating. 19:30: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Maj 201822min

We think of gratitude as a gift to others, but it's often a wonderful gift to ourselves. Dr. Hanson and Forrest move on to the fifth of the twelve strengths they’ll be covering during this series: Gratitude. During this episode they explore the role of positive emotions generally, and particularly the value of “thankfulness.” If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:00: Why use “gratitude” as a blanket term for positive emotions? 1:45: What benefits do positive emotions have for mental health? 5:55: Why did you choose to focus your work on increasing positive experiences rather than reducing negative ones? 8:15: What are the psychological benefits of “thankfulness?” 12:20: Critiques of telling people to ‘just be grateful for what they have.’ 17:00: Dealing with blocks to thankfulness. 23:30: How can we become more thankful? 28:25: Using gratitude to move into agency. 31:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Maj 201832min

How can we set and stick to our goals without getting overly attached to them or punishing ourselves if we backslide? Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can feel more successful by noticing the many small goals we accomplish each day, and fully internalizing that experience so it becomes a lasting resource. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:50: Why is having a healthy relationship with our goals so important for mental health? 4:30: How can we achieve a more healthy relationship with our goals? 6:35: The social pressures that help us feel unsuccessful. 8:30: What are process goals? 9:55: What are outcome goals? 10:20: The many opportunities to meet our goals. 11:40: Hacking the natural pleasure systems in the brain. 14:25: If we have so many opportunities to experience success, why don’t we? 17:50: What about when we aren’t successful? How can we better manage those feelings of failure? 21:30: Risking the “dreaded experience.” 24:30: Isn’t the fear of failure really motivating though? 29:50: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Maj 201832min

Learn how to form a more positive relationship with your body by accepting, nurturing, and appreciating it. Dr. Hanson and Forrest discuss key elements of the strength of Vitality, and how it relates to Grit. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:50: How does the physical resource of “vitality” impact the mental strength of “grit”? 2:10: How accepting the body helps us nurture the body. 4:10: Why is it so hard for people to accept their bodies? 8:10: How can we become more accepting of our bodies? 11:45: A practice for accepting the body. 14:00: The importance of appreciating the body. 16:30: A practice for thanking the body. 18:30: How can we form good habits around our physical practices? 22:10: Taking action on any given day, focusing on your effort rather than results. 24:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Apr 201825min