Self-Sabotage: Why You Do What You Shouldn’t, and How to Stop

Self-Sabotage: Why You Do What You Shouldn’t, and How to Stop

We’ve all had moments where we watch ourselves make the exact wrong choice: procrastinating on an important task, picking a fight in a good relationship, or pulling back just when things are starting to go well. This is self-sabotage, and in this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we do it and how to stop. They talk about how self-sabotage often serves as a form of psychological self-protection, and why doing well can feel like a threat to our identity, before discussing avoidance coping, the conflict between aspects of who we are, and why we stay safe rather than stepping forward. Along the way, they offer practical strategies for updating outdated internal models, working with different parts of ourselves, and building the inner resources that make real change possible. Change Your Mind with Rick: Learn how to break old patterns and change the thoughts that keep you stuck with Rick’s six-week online course on the science of changing your mind. Learn more at RickHanson.com/changing and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: What is self-sabotage, really? 6:10: Why self-sabotage is often a form of protection 10:20: Avoidance coping and the logic of “safe failure” 14:40: The identity cost of doing well 18:55: Internal conflict and the parts model 26:15: Challenge vs. threat: how the brain evaluates risk 32:05: Real-life examples of self-sabotage 37:30: How to begin working with self-sabotaging parts 45:45: Working with self-destructive parts 51:10: Creating safer conditions for growth 57:25: Building a feedback loop that reinforces trust 1:02:40: Recap and additional take-aways Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today. Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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6: Finding and Keeping a Healthy Relationship

6: Finding and Keeping a Healthy Relationship

Dr. Hanson and Forrest on the nature of relationships, what some big "red flags" are, and how to create a frame of effective communication with the people you care about. It's a fun episode, hope you enjoy it! Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Aug 201632min

5: JOT - Take in the Good

5: JOT - Take in the Good

Dr. Hanson explains the concept of “Just One Thing,” and applies it to his technique of Taking in the Good. If you’d like more Just One Thing, sign up for our free weekly newsletter here. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Juli 201610min

4: The H-E-A-L Process

4: The H-E-A-L Process

Dr. Hanson explains how we can actually go about the process of growing the good stuff in your mind and life – especially in the face of the brain’s negativity bias. To do this, we can use a method called “Taking in the Good.” Want more from Dr. Hanson? Check out the free “Just One Thing” newsletter here. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Juni 201626min

3: Being For Yourself

3: Being For Yourself

Many people are much better at being “for others” than they are at being “for themselves.” In this episode Dr. Hanson explains how to develop a fundamental stance of being on your own side. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Juni 201627min

1: How to Build A Happier Brain

1: How to Build A Happier Brain

Welcome to Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson! On this podcast we’ll learn how to increase our everyday happiness, build inner strengths, and get the most out of life.  On our first episode, Dr. Hanson gives an overview of some of the central questions this podcast will try to answer: Why does your brain have what scientists call a “negativity bias”? What does this mean? And what are some of the things we can do to build a happier, healthier brain? Sponsor Message: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.   We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Juni 201629min

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