SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 013: Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes – Number Dynamics

SS 013: Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes – Number Dynamics

In Ep 13, we discuss number dynamics in swing environments, from threesomes, to foursomes, to orgies. Sasha extols the virtues of odd numbers and the big pile, and Dylan discusses the house he wants to buy in a swinger friendly neighborhood, his greed knows no bounds, wanting a 10 seater hot tub. On this show: Cooper, Sasha,

22 Elo 201037min

SS 012: Under Pressure – Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Pressure For Swingers

SS 012: Under Pressure – Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Pressure For Swingers

In Ep 12 we talk about pressure, and how pressuring encounters can be as swingers. The first half of our show focuses primarily on male pressure to perform and erectile dysfunction, in the back half we talk about pressure to move beyond your comfort zone, pressure to not use protection and many other things, and

15 Elo 201043min

SS 011: Bediquette – In Bed With Swingers

SS 011: Bediquette – In Bed With Swingers

In Ep 11, we discuss the ins and outs of bediquette when it comes to bringing other sexy folk into your bedroom for playtime. We also introduce the newest member of the Swingset family, Ginger!

1 Elo 201052min

SS Special – Sex Is Fun Interviews The Swingset

SS Special – Sex Is Fun Interviews The Swingset

Sex Is Fun, the best sex podcast out there, interviews Dylan and Cooper to discuss swinging in a very enjoyable interview. Check it out!

24 Heinä 20101h 9min

SS 010: It's Naked Time with a Live Nude Cast

SS 010: It's Naked Time with a Live Nude Cast

In Episode 10 of Life on the Swingset the cast is naked! Not that it matters, because you can't see them. But just think of their sexy naked bodies....This episode is about being naked and all that goes with it, the nervousness and fun, the excitement and panic, the boys say that any size boobs are great, and Sasha bucks the trend and says size does matter with penises

18 Heinä 201042min

SS 009: Ins and Outs of Swinger Parties

SS 009: Ins and Outs of Swinger Parties

In Episode 9 of Life on the Swingset, we discuss attending a swinger party, Kylie admits her nervousness about them and asks questions, and Sasha proves herself to be a swing party guru and gives her hostessing tips. There's strapon play, stadium seating and more in this episode. On this show: Cooper, Sasha, Dylan, &

4 Heinä 201034min

SS 008: Looking For Fun & Friends on Swinger Websites

SS 008: Looking For Fun & Friends on Swinger Websites

In Episode 8 of Life on the Swingset, we discuss three major swinger dating websites, Adult Friend Finder, Swing Lifestyle, and our personal favorite, and Lifestyle Lounge. We discuss how to decide which site is right for you (despite being biased), how to build a profile, start your search, add pictures and have a great time with online swinger dating. Cooper also talks about using amazon.com to buy condoms

21 Kesä 201042min

SS 007: Swinging Couples, Taking One For The Team, & Erectile Dysfunction

SS 007: Swinging Couples, Taking One For The Team, & Erectile Dysfunction

In Episode 7, we discuss the difficulties inherent in finding a four way connection between two couples, how taking one for the team and playing with someone you're not interested in can do more harm than good, and going on solo dates.  Cooper also discusses a magical pill he took at his birthday party. On

7 Kesä 201036min

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