E267: The Hygiene Episode

Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that? This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex questions one by one. Nobody taught us how to actually take care of our bodies for sex. Not our parents, not health class, not anyone. And so we've been left to piece it together ourselves, often while carrying a whole lot of shame that doesn't belong to us. That's exactly what this episode is about. We got flooded with questions from our Instagram audience on hygiene and sex, and we're answering all of it, honestly, warmly, and with more poop talk than either of us anticipated. From what to do before and after, to discharge, breath, smells, and the great cleanup debate, we're covering it all. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: What actually matters (and what you can skip) when it comes to staying fresh before and after sex Why the shame we carry about our bodies being "dirty" around sex is making everything harder, and messier What your vulva actually needs to stay clean (spoiler: way less than you've been told) Why semen can have a smell, and when it's actually worth a second thought How to tell your partner their breath or body odor is getting in the way of intimacy, without it turning into a fight The gush: what it is, why it happens, and what you can actually do about it The after-sex cleanup debate: cup-and-shuffle, a towel by the bed, or straight to the shower If you've ever felt self-conscious about your body, your smell, or what counts as "normal," we hope this one leaves you feeling a whole lot more at ease. There's no shame here, just us answering the questions everyone's secretly Googling. 🕯️ Want to keep things exciting long after this episode ends? The Spark is our monthly membership for couples who want to stay connected, playful, and turned on, without having to figure it all out on your own. Fresh ideas and prompts delivered every month to keep intimacy feeling alive Low-pressure ways to reconnect, even on your busiest weeks Made for real couples and real bodies, zero shame required A simple monthly nudge to put each other first again 👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks The Spark. No planning. No awkward ‘what should we do?’ Just open it and go.And it’s only nine dollars a month, cancel anytime. Because a little spark goes a long way. ➡︎https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices