E205: Couples Coaching Session: How To Ask For More Even If You Don’t Know What You Want
Pillow Talks24 Huhti 2025

E205: Couples Coaching Session: How To Ask For More Even If You Don’t Know What You Want

We’re back this week with another coaching episode — where we listen to real voice notes from real listeners who are navigating some seriously relatable challenges. From craving more pleasure but not knowing how to ask for it… to dealing with desire differences after kids and trying to orgasm for the first time (yes, ever) — we’re holding space for your stories. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Is this it?” “Why don’t I want sex more?” “How do I even bring this up with my partner?” You’re not alone — and this episode is for you. We’re walking through these submissions with curiosity, compassion, and practical tools to help these couples — and you — feel more connected, more confident, and more turned on by your sex life again. 💬 What we’re going deep on: - When your sex life is fine but also kind of meh - Why you might not know what you want and how to figure it out - How to handle performance anxiety (without hurting anyone’s feelings) - What to do if you’ve never had an orgasm (you’re not broken!) - When your partner wants sex every day and you’d rather do anything else - How to stop making sex feel like just another to-do 🔥 Resources mentioned in this episode: 💖 Deeper Membership - https://vmtherapy.com/deeper Our affordable, all-access monthly membership packed with expert-led courses, playful date night ideas, live coaching calls, and Vanessa AI — your on-demand sex therapist bestie. 💋 Ultimate Foreplay Guides - https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay Whether you’re craving more excitement or just want a refresher on what actually feels good — these guides make foreplay easier, hotter, and way more fun for both of you. 🌸 Finishing School - https://vmtherapy.com/finishing-school?ref=podcast&utm_term=podcast Never had an orgasm? Not sure where to start? This course helps you overcome the emotional and physical blocks that might be getting in the way of pleasure. 💦 How to Have Your First Orgasm (Free Guide) - https://free.vmtherapy.com/best-orgasm A gentle, shame-free introduction to learning what feels good — and how to actually enjoy it. 🧠 Sex Drive Types Guide (Free) - https://free.vmtherapy.com/sex-drive-type Are you responsive or spontaneous? This guide will help you understand your own desire type — and why it’s been causing friction in your relationship (spoiler: it’s not your fault). 🛠️ Performance Issues? We’ve got you. If you or your partner are struggling with performance anxiety or feeling pressure to “last longer,” check out these resources: - How to Talk to Your Male Partner About Performance Issues - https://vmtherapy.com/youtube-video/how-to-talk-to-your-male-partner-about-his-performance-issues/ - Ep. 149: Partner Performance Problems? Here's What To Do And What NOT To Do - https://vmtherapy.com/episode149 - Ep. 47: What Penis Performance Problems Really Mean - https://vmtherapy.com/episode47 - What to Do If You Have Performance Anxiety About Your Orgasm - https://vmtherapy.com/vanessa-marin-sex-therapy/what-to-do-if-you-have-performance-anxiety-about-your-orgasm/ 📲 Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list — Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 💬 Follow us on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & review — New episodes drop **every Thursday**! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. 👏Thanks Remi. Give your teeth a break without breaking the bank with Remiand save up to 50%. ➡︎ https://shopremi.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them...

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E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated. We're back with Part 3 of Is This C...

18 Kesä 56min

E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits. 💛 I...

11 Kesä 1h 5min

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Mo...

4 Kesä 56min

E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves nove...

28 Touko 1h 7min

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the...

21 Touko 58min

E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complica...

14 Touko 1h 5min

E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we asked our community to help us show up fo...

7 Touko 1h 3min

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