E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire
Pillow Talks3 Heinä 2025

E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire

Does it ever feel like you and your partner are just never on the same page when it comes to sex? One of you wants it more often. One of you needs things to be just right. One of you initiates. One of you never does. It can feel frustrating, confusing, and even a little bit lonely. But there’s a good chance the issue isn’t actually about how much you want sex… it’s about how you want sex. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down one of the most important tools we’ve ever shared: the two sex drive types. If you’ve ever felt like your desire is broken—or that your partner just doesn’t “get” you—this conversation is about to change everything. 💛 Here’s what we’re covering: The real difference between mental desire and physical arousal What it means to be a Spontaneous vs. Responsive type Why you’re not low desire… you just need a different kind of start How to navigate mismatched sex drives without resentment Why your type has nothing to do with gender (but the stats may surprise you) How to initiate sex in a way that works for both of you You’ll also hear a game-changing mindset shift that can help you stop taking it personally—and start working with your differences instead of against them. Links & Resources ✨ Join us inside Deeper to access the brand new Sensual Touch Challenge and finally understand what turns you (and your partner) on → https://vmtherapy.com/touch ✨ What’s your sex drive type?→ https://free.vmtherapy.com/sex-drive-type 🎧 Stay connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏 Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial PLUS 25% off your annual subscription ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow 👏Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites. Get 20% off your first order ➡︎ https://chewy.com/pillows 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Cash App. For a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real - there's no catch. Just download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code PILLOW in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14-days, and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's Money. That's Cash App. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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E286 SHOWNOTES: Am I the Asshole? Trading Sex For Chores & Snooping On My Wife

E286 SHOWNOTES: Am I the Asshole? Trading Sex For Chores & Snooping On My Wife

It's time for another round of Am I The Asshole? In this episode, we're talking about: The vibrator investigation: One husband starts photographing his wife's nightstand drawer. What is he tryi...

12 Marras 1h 2min

E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

It's time for another round of Ask A Sex Therapist, where we answer your most personal, awkward, and downright fascinating questions about sex and relationships! In this episode, we're talking abou...

5 Marras 57min

E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding kinks, or pegging… but didn’t know who to a...

29 Loka 1h

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

Ready to turn things around in the bedroom? We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction. Where do your legs go? How do you...

22 Loka 54min

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another ...

15 Loka 54min

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your ph...

8 Loka 1h

E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it come...

1 Loka 47min

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time? Oh, we've got so...

24 Syys 1h 1min

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