E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire
Pillow Talks3 Heinä 2025

E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire

Does it ever feel like you and your partner are just never on the same page when it comes to sex? One of you wants it more often. One of you needs things to be just right. One of you initiates. One of you never does. It can feel frustrating, confusing, and even a little bit lonely. But there’s a good chance the issue isn’t actually about how much you want sex… it’s about how you want sex. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down one of the most important tools we’ve ever shared: the two sex drive types. If you’ve ever felt like your desire is broken—or that your partner just doesn’t “get” you—this conversation is about to change everything. 💛 Here’s what we’re covering: The real difference between mental desire and physical arousal What it means to be a Spontaneous vs. Responsive type Why you’re not low desire… you just need a different kind of start How to navigate mismatched sex drives without resentment Why your type has nothing to do with gender (but the stats may surprise you) How to initiate sex in a way that works for both of you You’ll also hear a game-changing mindset shift that can help you stop taking it personally—and start working with your differences instead of against them. Links & Resources ✨ Join us inside Deeper to access the brand new Sensual Touch Challenge and finally understand what turns you (and your partner) on → https://vmtherapy.com/touch ✨ What’s your sex drive type?→ https://free.vmtherapy.com/sex-drive-type 🎧 Stay connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏 Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial PLUS 25% off your annual subscription ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow 👏Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites. Get 20% off your first order ➡︎ https://chewy.com/pillows 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Cash App. For a limited time only, new Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real - there's no catch. Just download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code PILLOW in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14-days, and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's Money. That's Cash App. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex

You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them...

25 Kesä 1h

E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs

Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated. We're back with Part 3 of Is This C...

18 Kesä 56min

E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3

So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits. 💛 I...

11 Kesä 1h 5min

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Mo...

4 Kesä 56min

E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves nove...

28 Touko 1h 7min

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the...

21 Touko 58min

E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck

For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complica...

14 Touko 1h 5min

E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)

This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we asked our community to help us show up fo...

7 Touko 1h 3min

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