Attachment: Anxious Meets Avoidant - The Most Common (and Painful) Dance in Marriage

Attachment: Anxious Meets Avoidant - The Most Common (and Painful) Dance in Marriage

In this mini but important episode, Christa tackles the most common, and most painful, dynamic in marriage: the anxious-avoidant pairing. If you've ever felt like you're constantly chasing your spouse for connection while they pull away, or if you feel overwhelmed by a partner who won't give you breathing room, this episode will help you understand why these attachment styles are magnetically drawn to each other and how the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps you stuck. In this intro episode, Christa gives practical steps each partner needs to take to break the cycle and move toward earned secure attachment. The key insight: Your Enneagram type is the engine, your attachment style is the steering, understanding both is where real change begins. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, this episode gives you language for what's happening and hope that change is possible. Listen right here or watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episoder(572)

Finding Main Character Energy in the Family System w/Randi Zuckerberg, Type 7 (7-6 Pairing)

Finding Main Character Energy in the Family System w/Randi Zuckerberg, Type 7 (7-6 Pairing)

Christa sits down with Randi Zuckerberg, entrepreneur, Social 7, and elite ultrarunner who recently set an FKT on the 82-mile Baja Sur trail and finished the wildly difficult 250-mile Cocodona race. R...

30 Mar 43min

Cycle Breakers: Raising Kids Who Don't Repeat Your Story

Cycle Breakers: Raising Kids Who Don't Repeat Your Story

What happens when you realize your family's version of "normal" wasn't actually healthy? Whether conflict meant someone stormed out and didn't speak for days or big emotions were shut down with "you'r...

25 Mar 17min

An Enneagram Quiz Built for Marriage w/Wes Hardin, 1

An Enneagram Quiz Built for Marriage w/Wes Hardin, 1

Christa has a special guest fave on the show today, her husband Wes, Enneagram Type 1 as she dives into something new she and the E + M team created together: a couples Enneagram quiz. Today Christa a...

23 Mar 23min

Emotional Cutoff Versus Healthy Boundaries: When You Stop Talking

Emotional Cutoff Versus Healthy Boundaries: When You Stop Talking

Today, Christa helps you explore the crucial difference between the family systems concepts of emotional cutoff and healthy boundaries in family relationships. Learn why going completely silent often ...

18 Mar 21min

From Silenced to Strong - Finding A Healthy Path w/Couples Therapist Shane Birkel, 7

From Silenced to Strong - Finding A Healthy Path w/Couples Therapist Shane Birkel, 7

Listener-favorite and couples therapist Shane Birkel (host of The Couple Therapist Couch podcast) is back! Though last time Shane talked about how men can be strong but soft, this episode tackles the ...

16 Mar 51min

Why Your Nervous System Still Reacts to Family (And What We Can Work On)

Why Your Nervous System Still Reacts to Family (And What We Can Work On)

Ever wonder why your body still tenses around certain family members even after years of therapy or spiritual formation? Today we explore a topic Christa works on as well, and explore the difference b...

11 Mar 20min

Reigniting Polarity: Overfunctioning, Underfunctioning & Desire w/Andrea Clark

Reigniting Polarity: Overfunctioning, Underfunctioning & Desire w/Andrea Clark

Christa sits down with Andrea Clark, marriage and family therapist with 28 years of experience helping thousands of women reignite spark, polarity, and devotion in their marriages. Andrea breaks down ...

9 Mar 56min

The Family Ledger: What You're Holding Onto & What You Need to Release

The Family Ledger: What You're Holding Onto & What You Need to Release

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I didn't get affection as a kid, so I'm going to make sure my kids get it" and then noticed you overwhelm them just a tad? Or maybe, "My parents never helped m...

4 Mar 15min

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