It Would Have Just Been Easier If..

It Would Have Just Been Easier If..

It would have been so much easier if he just would have hit me, just once. But he didn’t.

It would have been easier if he had just been a jerk to me all the time. But he wasn’t. It would be easier to see the abuse. It would be easier to talk about it and identify it. It would be easier to explain it to others. It would be easier to leave. It would be easier to not be in the relationship in the first place. It would just be easier if they were an asshole all the time. But they aren't. There certainly were days where I thought to myself, this would all be easier if he were just mean all the time. But he truly wasn’t and still isn’t. He has good traits too. He is charming at times. He is helpful. He is funny and even pleasant to be around.This is certainly a large part of the problem with covert narcissists. Those good traits can leave a victim in a huge quandary for years or even decades. Even four and a half years out of my marriage, this quandary showed up yet again.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com


Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(436)

Covert Narcissism in Marriage: The “Try Harder” Myth That Traps You

Covert Narcissism in Marriage: The “Try Harder” Myth That Traps You

Covert narcissism in marriage keeps survivors trapped by the belief that if they just tried harder, the relationship would finally improve.If you’re exhausted from over-functioning, self-blame, and em...

21 Des 202522min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: How You Know Healing Is Happening

Covert Narcissism Recovery: How You Know Healing Is Happening

Covert narcissism recovery often shows up quietly—through internal safety, self-trust, and a nervous system that no longer lives on high alert. Many survivors wonder how to tell whether they’re actual...

18 Des 202521min

Covert Narcissism and Trauma: Why You and Your Kids Stop Talking

Covert Narcissism and Trauma: Why You and Your Kids Stop Talking

Covert narcissism and trauma quietly teach adults and children that silence feels safer than honesty. If you’ve noticed yourself going quiet, choosing your words carefully, or avoiding hard conversati...

14 Des 202528min

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

In Part 1, we uncovered the surprising physical symptoms of trauma that often go unnoticed — the jaw tension, the tinnitus, the eye twitching, the constant bracing your body learned to do in order to ...

11 Des 202521min

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body

When you live in the backwards, upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse, your body often understands the danger long before your mind can name it. The symptoms you thought were “random,” “weird...

7 Des 202521min

How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

Talking to your adult children about a covert narcissistic parent is one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded challenges survivors face. You’re carrying years of truth inside you — experiences t...

4 Des 202527min

Fawning Is Not Codependency: Understanding the Difference When You’ve Lived With a Covert Narcissist

Fawning Is Not Codependency: Understanding the Difference When You’ve Lived With a Covert Narcissist

So many survivors walk into healing believing they were “codependent,” when the truth is far more compassionate and far more accurate:What you were doing wasn’t codependency — it was fawning, a trauma...

30 Nov 202521min

Thanksgiving Special: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Through Self-Gratitude

Thanksgiving Special: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Through Self-Gratitude

This Thanksgiving episode is unlike any you’ve heard before.Instead of forcing gratitude outward—toward family, toward traditions, toward circumstances that may feel complicated or painful—this episod...

27 Nov 202516min

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