Clinging To The Breadcrumbs (Special Throwback Episode)

Clinging To The Breadcrumbs (Special Throwback Episode)

Have you ever said...But we have some good times together. Remember that one day…. Remember that one time…. Are you building an intimate relationship on breadcrumbs?
Sure, we would have some good times together. We had evenings that were successful and happy. We had the occasional weekends where his anger stayed in check. But I came to the realization that I was hanging on to those all-too-rare times and pretending that they were our reality. I was desperately trying to build a home and raise kids around that illusion. It wasn't working.


These breadcrumbs make the entire situation worse. If they weren’t there, many of us would leave so much sooner. We probably would not even end up in the relationship in the first place.
But these breadcrumbs give us hope. They give us positive memories to hold on to. Positive times to talk about and to dream about. They are part of what keeps us hooked in these relationships for years or even decades.


After the divorce, I was talking to our oldest son. I had apologized a hundred times to our boys for the environment they grew up in. I apologized for my part in all of it. In this conversation, I told him, “Son, I am so sorry.” He said, “Mom, this wasn’t your fault. You did ABCDEFG….XYZ. Dad wouldn’t even do A. How can this possibly be your fault?”


Maybe you are still trying to find that one right approach, that one magical answer. You are working your way through the entire alphabet, maybe for the 10th time. If he won’t even do the first thing, then why are we wearing ourselves out trying to help? He has a job in this too. He has a part, a responsibility, a role to play. Simply walk away! Quit hanging on to the breadcrumbs!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(468)

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 2

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 2

Part two of this CNG Community Chat picks up where we left off, as four moms go deeper into what it's like to parent through covert narcissistic abuse. They talk honestly about whether they see these ...

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Covert Narcissism in Disney: Beast vs. Tangled

Covert Narcissism in Disney: Beast vs. Tangled

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like rage — sometimes it looks like a warm smile and a locked tower door. In this episode, we break down two Disney stories that map almost perfectly onto real na...

19 Jul 24min

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1

In this two-part CNG Community Chat, four moms sit down to talk about one of the hardest parts of covert narcissistic abuse recovery: watching your children start to see it for themselves. In part one...

16 Jul 24min

Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System

Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System

When one parent shows up as the "nice, generous" one — buying gifts instead of ever offering real repair, gaslighting instead of listening — kids learn to distrust the very signals that are supposed t...

12 Jul 27min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again

In part two of this community chat, the conversation goes even deeper. We pick back up right where we left off — with Denise sharing what it actually took to go no contact after twenty-seven years of ...

9 Jul 31min

The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath

The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath

If you've ever felt like something was missing in a relationship with a covert narcissist — a flatness, a lack of depth, a sense that you're never quite reaching the real person — this episode is for ...

5 Jul 25min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat

Some of the hardest questions in a narcissistic relationship don't have easy answers — and "do I stay, or do I go" is one of them. In this episode, I'm joined by three women from our CNG community for...

2 Jul 25min

Covert Narcissist Relationships: Love Bombing, Smear Campaigns, and Surviving the Aftermath

Covert Narcissist Relationships: Love Bombing, Smear Campaigns, and Surviving the Aftermath

When you finally speak your truth to a covert narcissist, you expect relief. What you don't expect is what comes next. In this episode — the follow-up to Covert Narcissist Relationships: When You Can'...

28 Jun 29min

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